AITAH for Not Inviting My Best Friend to My Wedding Because She’s a Party Drunk?

Weddings are supposed to be joyful celebrations surrounded by the people you love most. But what if one of those people consistently disrupts important events with bad behavior? That’s exactly the dilemma one Redditor faced—and when they posted about it on r/AITAH, the internet lit up with opinions.

In this post, we’ll break down the scenario, explore both sides, and dig into the bigger questions: Is protecting your peace worth risking a friendship? And does not inviting someone make you a villain?

The Situation: A History of Chaos at Every Event

According to the original poster (OP), their best friend since high school has a long-standing habit of getting excessively drunk at social gatherings—weddings, birthdays, even baby showers. What starts as “just a few drinks” often ends with slurred speeches, public crying, or minor destruction.

OP stated that they’ve talked to her about it several times over the years. She’s always apologized after the fact, but the behavior hasn’t changed. So when OP began planning their wedding—an intimate, daytime garden ceremony—they decided not to invite her.

When the friend found out, she was devastated. She called OP “fake,” accused them of judging her unfairly, and even posted a vague rant on social media that mutual friends quickly connected to the situation.

Now OP is left wondering: AITAH for prioritizing my peace over a long-standing friendship?

The Complexity of Boundaries vs. Loyalty

There’s no denying it: friendship means loyalty. But loyalty doesn’t mean unconditional tolerance. Here’s what makes this situation so nuanced:

• Repetition matters: A one-time mistake might warrant forgiveness. A pattern often demands boundaries.

• Your wedding = your rules: You have every right to decide who attends your special day.

• You can care about someone and still protect yourself from their behavior.

OP didn’t cut off the friendship—they simply didn’t want to risk a meltdown on what’s meant to be one of the most meaningful days of their life.

Could There Have Been a Middle Ground?

Some commenters on Reddit suggested alternatives that may have avoided conflict:

• Limit the invite: Invite her to the ceremony but not the reception.

• Have a sober conversation early: Let her know months ahead and explain your concerns with compassion.

• Set boundaries at the event: For example, have a no-alcohol rule or assign a trusted friend to keep an eye out.

Still, others pointed out that setting boundaries doesn’t require explanation or compromise when history speaks for itself.

Why Saying “No” Is Hard—But Sometimes Necessary

OP’s decision highlights something many of us struggle with: enforcing boundaries when someone we love constantly pushes them. We worry about:

• Hurting their feelings

• Damaging the friendship

• Looking “cold” to others

But here’s the truth: your peace matters. Events like weddings happen once (hopefully). You deserve to experience them without fear, anxiety, or clean-up duty caused by someone else’s lack of control.

Community Verdict: Mixed but Leaning NTA

While some people empathized with the hurt friend, the majority of Reddit users backed OP. They felt it was a reasonable decision rooted in long-term self-preservation—not cruelty.

A few users even shared similar stories where they regretted inviting people out of guilt, only to have their weddings overshadowed by drama.

Final Thoughts: Respecting Others Starts with Respecting Yourself

Setting boundaries isn’t easy. It’s even harder when it involves someone you’ve been close to for years. But being a good friend doesn’t mean sacrificing your peace, especially on days that matter most.

So, AITAH for not inviting your best friend to your wedding because she can’t control her drinking?

Most would say no. You’re someone protecting their joy, not withholding it.