AITAH for Asking My Sister to Pay Rent After She Moved In Without Asking?
Life can throw unexpected curveballs, especially when family is involved. Recently, my younger sister showed up at my apartment unannounced with two suitcases, declaring she was moving in after a breakup. At first, I felt bad for her and let her stay—until weeks passed, and she made no effort to contribute. When I finally asked her to pay rent, she exploded, calling me selfish and heartless. Now, I’m left wondering: was I wrong for setting boundaries, or was she taking advantage of my kindness?
The Unexpected Move-In
It started with a frantic knock on my door at midnight. My sister, tear-streaked and exhausted, stood there with her belongings, explaining that her boyfriend had kicked her out. Of course, I let her in she’s family. But what I thought would be a few nights turned into a month-long stay. She ate my food, used my utilities, and even invited friends over without asking. I didn’t mind helping, but the lack of gratitude or effort to contribute began to wear on me.
The Rent Conversation
After weeks of silence, I finally sat her down and gently suggested she start paying a small portion of rent and utilities. Her reaction was explosive. She accused me of betraying her when she was vulnerable, saying family shouldn’t charge family. I tried explaining that bills had doubled since she arrived, but she refused to listen. Now, she’s giving me the silent treatment, and our parents are calling me unreasonable. Was I wrong for asking her to contribute?
Family vs. Boundaries
This situation made me question where the line is between supporting family and being taken for granted. I love my sister, but I also work hard to afford my apartment. Letting her stay rent-free indefinitely wasn’t sustainable. Yet, the guilt is real—was I too harsh? Should I have waited longer before bringing it up? On the other hand, her entitlement shocked me. Shouldn’t she have offered to help without being asked?
Outside Perspectives
I reached out to friends for advice, and the responses were mixed. Some said I was justified—after all, adults should pay their way. Others argued that family should come first, especially in a crisis. One friend pointed out that if roles were reversed, my sister might not have been as accommodating. It’s left me even more confused about whether I handled this the right way.
The Emotional Fallout
Since our argument, the atmosphere at home has been icy. My sister avoids me, and when we do talk, it’s tense. Part of me wonders if I should apologize just to keep the peace, but another part feels resentful that she’s painting me as the villain. I never asked her to leave—just to contribute. Now, I’m stuck between standing my ground and repairing our relationship.
Was I the Asshole?
Looking back, I don’t think I was wrong for asking for rent, but maybe my timing or delivery could have been better. Maybe I should have set expectations from the beginning instead of letting frustration build. Still, her reaction feels disproportionate. Shouldn’t she recognize that living somewhere comes with responsibilities?
What Do You Think?
Have you ever been in a similar situation with family or friends? How did you handle it? Was I the asshole for asking my sister to pay rent, or was she out of line for assuming she could stay indefinitely? Share your thoughts in the comments I’d love to hear different perspectives on this tricky family dynamic.
