AITAH for Refusing to Babysit My Sister’s Kids After She Called Me Selfish?

Family drama is never easy, especially when it involves boundaries and expectations. Recently, I found myself in a heated argument with my sister after I refused to babysit her three kids for the third weekend in a row. She called me selfish and accused me of not caring about family. But here’s the thing—I have my own life, responsibilities, and mental health to consider. So, AITAH for standing my ground? Let’s break it down.

The Backstory Unfolds

My sister and I have always been close, but since she had kids, our dynamic changed. She’s a single mom, and I get that it’s tough. I’ve helped out countless times—last-minute pickups, overnight stays, even covering expenses when she was short on cash. But lately, it feels like she expects me to drop everything whenever she needs a break. Last month, I started setting boundaries because I was burning out. That’s when she called me selfish.

The Breaking Point

It all came to a head when she asked me to take her kids for the third consecutive weekend. I had plans—a much-needed getaway with friends that I’d booked months in advance. When I said no, she exploded. “You’re so selfish! Family helps family!” she shouted. I tried explaining that I have my own life, but she wouldn’t listen. Was I wrong for prioritizing myself?

Family vs Boundaries

Here’s where it gets tricky. I love my nieces and nephews, but I didn’t choose to have kids—she did. Does that mean I’m obligated to always be available? I’ve read so many AITAH threads where people say, “You’re not the parent, it’s not your job.” But others argue that family should always come first. Where’s the line between being supportive and being taken advantage of?

The Reaction Fallout

After our argument, my sister vented to our extended family. Suddenly, my phone was blowing up with texts calling me “heartless” and “ungrateful.” Even my mom, who usually stays neutral, said I should “be more understanding.” But no one acknowledged how often I’ve already helped. It’s like my efforts were erased the moment I said no.

Mental Health Matters

What no one seems to get is that I’ve been struggling too. Between work stress and my own commitments, I’ve been barely keeping it together. Babysitting three energetic kids every weekend leaves me exhausted. I finally started therapy to work on my anxiety, and my therapist emphasized the importance of setting boundaries. Was I wrong for prioritizing my mental health?

Reddit Weighs In

I posted about this on r/AITAH, and the responses were eye-opening. Most people agreed that while it’s great to help family, it shouldn’t be expected unconditionally. One comment stuck with me: “Your sister’s lack of planning isn’t your emergency.” Others pointed out that her calling me selfish was manipulative. But a few said I should’ve just helped because “that’s what family does.” The divide was fascinating.

Moving Forward

After cooling off, my sister and I finally talked. I explained how overwhelmed I’d been feeling, and she admitted she’d been relying on me too much. We agreed on a more balanced approach—I’ll help occasionally, but she’ll also arrange other childcare options. It’s not perfect, but it’s progress. Still, part of me wonders: AITAH for needing this boundary in the first place?

What do you think? Have you ever been called selfish for setting boundaries with family? Share your AITAH stories in the comments—I’d love to hear how others handle these tough situations.