AITAH for Not Waking Up My Partner When They Overslept for Work?

I never thought I’d be questioning whether I was the jerk in this situation, but here we are. My partner overslept for work, and I didn’t wake them up. Now, they’re furious, and I’m left wondering: Am I the a**hole here? Let me walk you through what happened—maybe you can help me figure it out.

The Morning in Question

It was a typical Tuesday morning—or so I thought. My alarm went off at 6:30 AM as usual, and I got up to start my day. My partner, who usually wakes up at 7:00 AM, was still fast asleep. I figured they had set their own alarm, so I didn’t think much of it. I went about my routine: showered, made coffee, and scrolled through my phone.

By 7:30 AM, I realized something was off. Their alarm never went off. I peeked into the bedroom, and they were still asleep. At this point, I had a choice: wake them up or let them sleep. I chose the latter. Why? Because they’re an adult, and I didn’t want to be responsible for their schedule. But when they finally woke up at 8:15 AM—late for work—they were livid.

The Argument That Followed

The moment they realized the time, chaos erupted. “Why didn’t you wake me up?” they shouted. I calmly explained that I assumed they had set their own alarm and didn’t want to overstep. Their response? “You knew I had an important meeting today! You should’ve woken me up!”

I was taken aback. Yes, I knew about the meeting, but I also knew they were capable of setting an alarm. Was it really my responsibility to ensure they got up on time? They stormed out, slamming the door, and we haven’t spoken much since.

My Side of the Story

Here’s why I don’t think I’m in the wrong: personal responsibility. My partner is a grown adult who’s perfectly capable of managing their own time. If they forgot to set an alarm, that’s on them. Plus, I’m not their parent—I shouldn’t have to babysit their schedule.

I also worry that if I start waking them up every time they oversleep, it’ll become an expectation. Then, if I don’t do it one day, I’ll be the villain again. It feels like a slippery slope.

Their Perspective

On the other hand, I can see why they’re upset. They had an important meeting, and I did know about it. Maybe waking them up would’ve been the considerate thing to do, especially since we’re partners. Relationships are about teamwork, right?

They argued that if the roles were reversed, they would’ve woken me up without hesitation. And honestly? They probably would have. Does that make me selfish for not doing the same?

What Friends and Family Think

I reached out to a few friends and family members to get their take. The responses were mixed:

Friend A: “Nah, you’re not their alarm clock. They need to take responsibility.”

Friend B: “I get where you’re coming from, but if you knew about the meeting, you could’ve helped out.”

My Mom: “Relationships are about supporting each other. Just wake them up next time.”

So, even the people closest to me are divided. It’s not helping my guilt—or my frustration.

Where Do We Go From Here?

Now, I’m stuck in this weird limbo. Part of me feels justified, but another part wonders if I was being petty. Should I apologize? Or should I stand my ground and insist they take ownership of their own schedule?

One thing’s for sure: we need to have a calm conversation about expectations. Maybe we can agree that if there’s something important, they’ll ask me to double-check that they’re up. Otherwise, it’s on them.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, I don’t think I’m the a**hole—but I’m not entirely innocent either. Maybe there’s a middle ground where we both take responsibility. What do you think? Am I wrong for not waking them up? Or should they have set their own alarm like an adult?

Drop your thoughts in the comments—I need all the advice I can get!