AITAH for Skipping a Family BBQ to Go to a Job Interview?

Family obligations versus career opportunities—it’s a classic dilemma. Last weekend, I faced a tough choice: attend my cousin’s annual BBQ or go to a last-minute job interview for a role I’ve been chasing for months. I chose the interview, and now my family is calling me selfish. Was I the a**hole here? Let me walk you through what happened, and you can decide.

The BBQ Invitation

My cousin’s summer BBQ is a big deal in our family. Everyone shows up—aunts, uncles, cousins, even the family dog. I RSVP’d weeks ago, fully intending to go. But then, out of nowhere, I got an email from a recruiter: “Can you interview this Saturday at 2 PM?”

This wasn’t just any job. It was a position at a company I’d been eyeing for over a year, with better pay, remote flexibility, and growth potential. The catch? The hiring manager was leaving for a month-long trip, and this was the only slot available.

The Family Backlash

When I texted my cousin to explain, the response was icy: “Seriously? You’re bailing for a job interview?” My mom called minutes later, saying I was letting the family down. My aunt even commented on Facebook: “Some people prioritize money over family.” Ouch.

I tried explaining that this wasn’t just about money—it was about securing my future. But the guilt trip was already in full swing. My sister, usually my ally, said, “Couldn’t you reschedule?” (Spoiler: I tried. They couldn’t.)

My Career vs. Family

Here’s the thing: I’ve always been the “responsible” one in the family. The one who budgets, who plans ahead, who worries about stability. Yet, the moment I make a choice that reflects that mindset, I’m the villain. Was I supposed to pass up an opportunity that could change my life?

I love my family, but their reaction made me question whether they truly support my goals. Would they have reacted the same way if I’d canceled for a wedding or a vacation? Or was this just about their disappointment?

The Interview Fallout

The interview went great. Like, “they offered me the job on the spot” great. But when I shared the news, the responses were lukewarm at best. My cousin replied with a thumbs-up emoji. My mom said, “I hope it was worth missing the BBQ.” It felt like no one cared about my win.

Now I’m torn. I’m thrilled about the job, but the family tension is eating at me. Was I selfish? Or was their reaction unfair?

Weighing the Priorities

Let’s break it down:

• Family BBQ: Annual event, but replaceable. There’s always next year.
• Job Interview: Rare, time-sensitive, with long-term implications.

I get that family time matters, but was one missed BBQ really worth this level of drama? If roles were reversed, I’d celebrate their success, not guilt-trip them.

Reddit’s Verdict

I posted this on AITAH, and the responses were eye-opening. Most said:

• “NTA. Your family is being unreasonable.”
• “Adults have responsibilities. They’ll get over it.”
• “If they can’t support your career, that’s their problem.”

A few argued family should always come first, but the majority agreed: I made the right call.

Moving Forward

I’m taking the job. And I’m done apologizing for it. But I’ve learned something: family dynamics don’t always adjust to adulthood. Next time, I’ll set clearer boundaries upfront.

So, AITAH? I don’t think so. But I’d love to hear your take. Have you faced a similar choice? How did you handle it? Drop a comment below—let’s discuss!