AITAH For Telling My Boss I Deserve A Raise During Vacation
Let me set the scene: I’m sipping a margarita on a white sand beach, finally relaxing after months of overtime, when my boss’s email notification pops up. What happened next has my coworkers divided – was I justified in seizing the moment, or did I commit a career-ending faux pas? Here’s why I asked for a raise during my hard-earned vacation… and why I’d do it again.
The Backstory Matters
For context, I’ve been with this company for three years without a single raise despite taking on two promotions’ worth of extra responsibilities. My last performance review included phrases like “indispensable to the team” and “consistently exceeds expectations,” yet when raise discussions came up, it was always “next quarter” or “let’s revisit after budget planning.”
When I requested this vacation six months ago, I made sure all my projects were ahead of schedule. Yet three days into my trip, the emails started – “quick questions” that turned into assigning me new deliverables. That’s when something snapped.
The Infamous Email
After the fifth “urgent” request, I drafted a polite but firm response outlining: 1) These tasks weren’t in my pre-vacation handoff notes 2) The extra work I’d already absorbed this year 3) Market rate comparisons for my role. I concluded with: “Given these factors and my contributions, I believe a 15% salary adjustment is warranted. I’m happy to discuss this further when I return.”
Was it aggressive? Maybe. But here’s what happened next that shocked everyone…
Office Fallout Begins
My boss forwarded my email to HR without replying to me, who then scheduled a “career path discussion” for my first day back. Meanwhile, coworkers found out and split into camps:
Team Justified: “They were taking advantage of you working on vacation anyway!”
Team Unprofessional: “There’s a time and place – this wasn’t it.”
Team Jealous: “Wait, you got HR to move that fast? Teach me.”
The real question is – was timing my only mistake, or was the ask itself unreasonable?
Why Vacation Timing Worked
Conventional wisdom says never mix vacation with work talk. But consider:
- Leverage: They needed me during my off-time, proving my value
- Perspective: Distance helped me realize my worth beyond daily grind
- Urgency: Forced them to address what they’d been avoiding
My therapist later pointed out: “People pleasers never get raises. Sometimes disruption is necessary.” Food for thought.
The Unexpected Outcome
Here’s where it gets interesting. That HR meeting? They offered 12% immediately with a plan to revisit in six months. Turns out my “out of office” boldness achieved what years of polite requests couldn’t because:
- It highlighted how much they relied on me
- Proved I was willing to walk away
- Forced them to see me as more than a “team player”
Was it risky? Absolutely. But sometimes you have to bet on yourself.
Would I Recommend This?
Before you fire off a raise request from your honeymoon, consider:
| Do This If… | Don’t Do This If… |
|---|---|
| You have quantifiable achievements | You’re underperforming or new |
| Company is financially healthy | There are recent layoffs |
| You’re truly ready to walk away | This is your dream job |
My story had a happy ending, but your mileage may vary.
Your Turn To Judge
So, AITAH? Some will say I violated vacation etiquette. Others argue workers must seize power where they can in an unfair system. What’s your verdict?
Drop your judgment in the comments: Was this a boss move or career suicide? Have you ever made an unconventional play for a raise? Let’s debate!
