Am I Overreacting for Not Allowing My Kid to Have Dessert After Refusing Dinner?

Introduction: The Great Dinner Debate

Parenting is full of tough calls, and dinner time can feel like a battlefield. Recently, I found myself questioning whether I’m overreacting after a situation involving my child, dinner, and dessert. Let me explain—and you can decide whether I’m being too harsh.

The Incident: No Dinner, No Dessert

It was a typical weeknight, and I had made a balanced, home-cooked meal for the family. My child, however, was not having it. They took one look at the plate and declared, “I’m not hungry.” Fine, I thought—I didn’t want to force them to eat.

But then, as soon as the dishes were cleared, they asked, “Can I have ice cream now?”

I calmly told them no—if they weren’t hungry for dinner, they weren’t getting dessert either. Cue the tears and accusations of unfairness.

The Parenting Dilemma

As a parent, I want to encourage healthy eating habits without being overly strict. Was I being unreasonable by sticking to the “no dessert without dinner” rule? Or was this a necessary boundary to set?

Community Reactions: Mixed Opinions

Here’s what other parents and experts had to say when I shared my story:

1. Supporters:

“You’re absolutely right—kids need to understand that treats are earned. This isn’t about punishment; it’s about setting expectations.”

“NTA (Not the Asshole). If they’re hungry enough for dessert, they’re hungry enough for real food.”

2. Critics:

“This feels like food shaming. Kids go through phases with eating—maybe offer a healthy alternative instead of outright denial.”

“ESH (Everyone Sucks Here). Forcing a rigid rule around food might backfire and create negative associations with eating.”

3. Creative Solutions:

“We have a ‘treat token’ system. If dinner isn’t eaten, they can save the token for another day instead of having a meltdown.”

“Offer a compromise—something like fruit instead of ice cream. That way, you’re not completely caving but also not creating a power struggle.”

Conclusion: Lessons Learned

In the end, I realized that parenting isn’t about being perfect—it’s about finding what works for your family. For us, the “no dinner, no dessert” rule still stands, but I’ve softened my approach by offering healthier treat alternatives.

So, am I overreacting? I’ll leave that up to you. But one thing’s for sure—parenting is always a learning experience.