AITA for Not Taking My Boyfriend’s Last Name After Getting Engaged?
Tradition says a woman should take her husband’s last name—but should that still apply today? One woman’s decision to keep her last name after getting engaged caused tension in her relationship. Was she wrong, or is it her choice?
The Original Post: My Name, My Choice
He Expects Me to Change My Name
My boyfriend and I recently got engaged, and while I’m excited about our future, there’s one issue we can’t agree on—my last name.
He assumed I would take his name after marriage, but I never planned to. My last name is a big part of my identity, and I don’t see why I should have to change it just because we’re getting married. I told him I’d rather keep my name, but he was clearly upset and said it felt like I wasn’t “fully committing” to our future.
Now, he keeps bringing it up, and some of his family members think I’m being selfish. Am I the asshole?
The Community Reacts: Personal Choice or Relationship Issue?
Many people agreed that refusing to take my partner’s last name was completely justified.
“It’s your name, your choice. Marriage doesn’t mean losing your identity.”
“If he truly loves you, this shouldn’t be a dealbreaker.”
“There are so many compromises in marriage—why should this one be one-sided?”
However, some thought I should reconsider.
“It’s a tradition for a reason—why make things harder?”
“He has a right to feel hurt. Maybe hyphenating is a fair compromise?”
“If it means a lot to him, is it really worth the fight?”
The Verdict: Independence or Unfair to My Fiancé?
While some believed I should compromise, most agreed that refusing to take my partner’s last name was a personal choice that should be respected.
At the end of the day, a name doesn’t define commitment—love and respect do. Would you change your last name for your partner, or would you stand your ground? Let us know in the comments!
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