My In-Laws Constantly Criticize Me – How Do I Handle It?
Marriage is supposed to be about love and partnership, but what happens when your in-laws constantly make you feel like you’re not good enough? No matter what I do, they always have something to say, and I’m starting to wonder if I can keep dealing with this. How do I set boundaries without causing a major family rift?
Background Information
I’ve been married to my spouse for three years, and while our relationship is strong, dealing with my in-laws has been an ongoing struggle. From the very beginning, they made it clear that they had certain expectations for who their child should marry—and I don’t seem to fit the mold.
At first, I thought I just needed to prove myself, but no matter how much effort I put in, the criticism never stops. Whether it’s how I cook, how I decorate my home, or even how I dress, there’s always some passive-aggressive comment waiting for me.
My spouse acknowledges their behavior but insists that “it’s just how they are” and that I shouldn’t take it personally. But when you hear constant negativity, it’s hard not to let it get to you.
The Main Conflict
The latest incident happened last weekend when we visited for a family gathering. As soon as I walked in, my mother-in-law looked me up and down and said, “Oh, I see you’re still wearing those shoes. Interesting choice.”
During dinner, my father-in-law made a joke about how my cooking “must be improving, since my spouse hasn’t lost weight yet.” Everyone laughed—except me.
After the meal, I overheard my sister-in-law whispering to another relative, saying, “She’s just so different from us. I don’t know what [spouse’s name] sees in her.”
That was the breaking point. I felt humiliated and exhausted from trying so hard to be accepted.
The Aftermath
On the way home, I told my spouse how much their family’s words were hurting me. Their response? “You just have to ignore them. They don’t mean anything by it.”
I was stunned. After three years of biting my tongue and being polite, I expected some kind of support. Instead, I was told to “let it go.”
Now I feel trapped between keeping the peace and standing up for myself. If I push back, I risk creating tension in the family. If I stay silent, I continue to let them walk all over me.
Community Reaction
“Your spouse needs to stand up for you. This isn’t just ‘how they are’—it’s disrespectful.”
“You have every right to set boundaries. No one deserves constant criticism.”
“If they can’t respect you, maybe it’s time to rethink how often you engage with them.”
“Your feelings are valid. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re overreacting.”
“Toxic in-laws can ruin a marriage if your partner isn’t willing to back you up.”
Final Thoughts
I love my spouse, but I don’t know how much longer I can deal with this constant negativity. I want to set boundaries, but I also don’t want to cause unnecessary drama.
Has anyone else dealt with toxic in-laws? How did you navigate it without hurting your relationship?
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