AITAH for Refusing to Pay for My Friend’s Expensive Birthday Dinner?
Birthdays are meant to be fun, but what happens when the bill turns into a nightmare? My friend planned an expensive birthday dinner and expected us to split the cost evenly. AITAH for refusing to pay more than my share?
Background Information
My friend, Alex, recently turned 30 and wanted to celebrate in style. They chose a fancy steakhouse where the average meal costs well over $100. I knew it would be pricey, so I decided to order carefully—just a small meal and a drink—while others went all out with appetizers, cocktails, and expensive entrees.
The Main Conflict
When the check arrived, Alex casually said, “Let’s just split it evenly.”
I glanced at the bill and realized my portion was nowhere near the $150+ I was now expected to pay. I spoke up, “I only ordered a small meal and one drink. I’d rather just pay for what I got.”
Alex looked annoyed. “Come on, it’s my birthday. Can’t you just pitch in? It’s not like we do this all the time.”
I stood firm. “I’m happy to cover my meal and even pitch in a little extra for your birthday, but I can’t afford to split the whole bill.”
Some friends backed me up, while others said I was making a big deal out of it. Tension filled the table, and Alex seemed hurt.
The Aftermath
Since then, Alex has been distant. They haven’t texted me much and even made a passive-aggressive post online about “friends who are cheap.”
Some of our mutual friends think I should’ve just paid to keep the peace, but I don’t think it’s fair to be forced into spending way more than I planned.
Community Reaction
“You shouldn’t be expected to subsidize other people’s expensive meals.”
“Alex should have communicated the expectation beforehand if they wanted to split it evenly.”
“You were completely fair—paying for what you ate is reasonable.”
“Expecting friends to overspend for your birthday is entitled behavior.”
“It’s okay to treat a birthday person, but not at the expense of your own budget.”
Final Thoughts
I want to be a good friend, but I also don’t think I should be guilted into paying more than my fair share.
AITAH for refusing to split the bill evenly at an expensive birthday dinner?
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