AITAH for Banning My Mother-in-Law from Visiting After She Ignored Our Parenting Rules?

When Family Oversteps: A Parenting Line Gets Crossed

“I (33F) recently told my mother-in-law that she is no longer welcome to visit us. Now, half the family thinks I’m ungrateful and cruel—while the other half is quietly cheering me on.”

That’s how a mother kicked off her Reddit post in the r/AITAH forum, asking the burning question:
“AITAH for banning my mother-in-law from visiting after she repeatedly ignored our parenting rules?”

From bedtime sabotage to sneaky feeding, this story is every young parent’s nightmare—and a perfect storm of tension between boundaries, grandparent entitlement, and parental authority.

The Family Dynamic: When Love Meets Tension

OP and her husband have been married for five years and welcomed their first child—a baby girl—just ten months ago. Her husband’s mother, Janice (60F), was thrilled to become a grandmother. But the relationship between Janice and OP was never easy.

“She’s the classic ‘I know best’ kind of MIL,” OP explained. “The kind who thinks parenting today is too ‘soft’ and babies need to ‘cry it out’ to learn.” While OP and her husband tried to set clear boundaries early, Janice often brushed them off as “new parent paranoia.”

Still, for the sake of family harmony, they allowed her frequent visits—until things got out of hand.

The First Warnings: Small Disobediences, Big Frustration

At first, the issues seemed minor. Janice would give the baby sweets even after being asked not to. She’d insist the baby wasn’t warm enough despite a clear pediatrician-approved outfit. But then she started doing things behind OP’s back.

One day, OP walked in to find Janice giving the baby peanut butter—despite the fact that their pediatrician had advised waiting due to a family history of allergies.

When OP confronted her, Janice laughed it off. “Oh, she’s fine! You’re just too uptight.”

That’s when OP started seeing red flags—not just about Janice’s behavior, but about the potential risks to her child.

Things Escalate: A Direct Violation of Safety

The final straw came during an overnight visit. OP and her husband had gone out for their anniversary and left their daughter in Janice’s care—complete with detailed instructions and a sleep routine.

When they returned, they found the baby crying in her crib—with a blanket, a stuffed animal, and a bottle propped in her mouth.

“I was livid,” OP said. “We’ve told her repeatedly: no blankets, no toys in the crib. It’s a suffocation risk. And NEVER prop bottles. She just shrugged and said, ‘I did this with all my kids. They survived.’”

At that point, OP didn’t hesitate. She told Janice she was no longer welcome to visit unless she agreed to follow their parenting rules. Janice left in tears—and hasn’t spoken to them since.

The Family Divides: Opinions Get Loud

Word spread fast. Janice told her side of the story—painting OP as “controlling” and “disrespectful.” Some family members reached out to say they were on her side. Others stayed quiet or offered OP quiet support.

Her husband was stuck in the middle. “He agrees with me,” OP wrote, “but he hates the family drama.”

Now OP’s left wondering: Did she overreact? Should she have given one more warning? Or did she finally do what was necessary to protect her child?

Reddit Responds: Harsh Truths and Hard Support

Reddit wasted no time weighing in.

• “NTA. This is YOUR child. You set the rules. Grandma doesn’t get to override medical advice.”

• “She’s not just overstepping—she’s endangering your baby. You’re not banning her for fun.”

• “Being a grandparent is a privilege, not a right. And it comes with responsibility.”

Some users encouraged a path toward reconciliation—“You might consider supervised visits in the future,” one wrote. “But only if she sincerely apologizes and changes her behavior.”

Still, the overwhelming consensus was clear: OP was not wrong to draw the line.

The Core Question: AITAH for Banning My MIL from Visits?

Parenting often involves hard choices—and standing up for your child sometimes means disappointing others. In this case, OP didn’t act out of spite or cruelty. She acted out of love and caution.

So, AITAH for banning my mother-in-law from visiting? Most would agree: Not even close.

Final Thoughts

When it comes to raising children, boundaries are not optional. They’re essential. And while family ties matter, your child’s safety must always come first. Whether you’re a new parent or a seasoned one, remember: you don’t owe access to anyone who refuses to respect your rules.