AITAH for Not Letting My Best Friend Propose at My Wedding?

Weddings are moments of joy, unity, and celebration—but what happens when someone else tries to make your big day about them? In today’s gripping AITAH-inspired scenario, a bride finds herself in a difficult position when her best friend asks to use her wedding as the backdrop for his own proposal.

Is she selfish for saying no, or justified in keeping the spotlight on her own special moment?

The Situation: One Wedding, Two Love Stories?

A 28-year-old woman, whom we’ll call Anaya, recently shared her story on r/AITAH. Anaya had been planning her wedding for over a year. Every detail had been carefully curated, from the color scheme to the ceremony playlist.

Two weeks before the wedding, her longtime best friend Ryan approached her with a request: He wanted to propose to his girlfriend, Lily—at Anaya’s wedding.

He said it would be “the perfect setting” with family and friends already gathered, a romantic atmosphere, and good vibes all around. He insisted that it would be “just after the cake cutting,” so as not to “steal the show.”

Anaya was stunned.

Drawing the Line: Anaya Says No

Anaya gently declined. She explained that she wanted the day to remain focused on her and her fiancé. She didn’t want to share her once-in-a-lifetime moment with another couple—even her best friend.

She even suggested other options: proposing at a post-wedding brunch or a vacation the couple had planned a few weeks later.

But Ryan didn’t take it well. He called her “self-centered” and accused her of gatekeeping love. He said she was being petty and “could’ve made it a moment to celebrate even more love.”

Worse, word got around to their mutual friends. Some agreed with Anaya, but others sided with Ryan, calling her “dramatic” and “possessive.”

Anaya turned to Reddit: AITAH for refusing to let my best friend propose at my wedding?

The Debate: Celebration vs. Spotlight

Why Anaya Might Be Right

Anaya’s wedding was her day. Her fiancé, her vows, her guests. Asking to propose during someone else’s wedding can feel like hijacking an emotional space meant for the couple of honor.

Proposals are beautiful and intimate. But when one happens during another major event, it risks overshadowing the people who planned (and paid for) the occasion.

Let’s not forget the emotional labor and financial investment that goes into weddings. Sharing that space—especially without mutual enthusiasm—can feel invasive.

Why Ryan Might Think He’s Right

In Ryan’s mind, proposing during a wedding was a clever way to tap into an already romantic setting. He likely thought it would be cute, memorable, and symbolic.

He also probably felt close enough to Anaya to assume she’d welcome the idea, even seeing it as an honor.

But good intentions don’t automatically equal good judgment.

What Reddit Had to Say

Redditors didn’t hold back. The consensus? Anaya was not the villain.

Top comments emphasized consent and context.

“A proposal is only romantic if it doesn’t make someone else uncomfortable. You don’t need to hijack another person’s milestone to make your own.”

Others pointed out how this sort of request puts brides in a no-win situation: say yes and feel resentful, or say no and be labeled selfish.

One particularly insightful comment read:

“No one should need to ask if they’re the villain for trying to insert their proposal into someone else’s wedding. That alone should be the answer.”

Still, a minority of users thought Anaya could’ve compromised, especially since Ryan offered to do it quietly and after the main events.

The Bigger Picture: When Good Intentions Go Too Far

This situation is about more than just a proposal—it’s about boundaries, timing, and respect.

It raises an important question: Should big life moments be shared, or protected?

The answer likely depends on your relationship, the context, and, most importantly, consent.

What Should Have Happened Instead?

For Ryan:

• He should’ve realized that asking was already a big deal.

• If his idea was met with hesitation, he should’ve backed off graciously.

• Proposing during someone else’s wedding should never be Plan A.

For Anaya:

• She handled it maturely, offering alternatives without hostility.

• She respected her own boundaries and didn’t cave to pressure.

• She kept the focus where it belonged—on her and her partner.

The Verdict: A Wedding is Not a Stage for Others

Wanting your wedding day to be solely about you doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you human. Major milestones deserve their own space and attention.

Anaya wasn’t trying to stop her friend from proposing. She just didn’t want it to happen at her wedding. And that’s more than fair.

Let this be a lesson for everyone: There’s a time and place for every love story. Just make sure you’re not stepping on someone else’s chapter to write your own.