AITAH for Not Letting My Best Friend’s Girlfriend Come on Our Annual Boys’ Trip?

June 23, 2025

Every friend group has its traditions. Some are sacred. And when someone tries to change the rules—especially for love—it can lead to unexpected fallout. In today’s AITAH story, a man’s decision to protect the integrity of a long-standing “boys-only” trip sends shockwaves through his friend group.

Was he being unreasonable—or just enforcing boundaries?

The Backstory: Ten Years of Tradition

For nearly a decade, five close friends—let’s call them the “core crew”—have taken an annual trip together. No partners, no plus-ones. Just the guys, unwinding from work and family pressures.

They call it the “boys’ trip.” It’s a sacred time of bonding, hiking, beers by the campfire, and inside jokes that don’t need to be explained.

This year, everything changed.

The Problem: A New Relationship, A New Dynamic

One of the guys, Tyler, recently started dating someone new—Lisa. They’ve been together for about six months, and from all accounts, things are going well.

But when plans for this year’s trip started forming, Tyler dropped a bomb: he wanted Lisa to come along.

“She’s basically part of the group now,” he argued in the group chat. “She’s fun, she gets along with everyone, and I don’t want to leave her behind.”

The rest of the group—including the man who posted this AITAH dilemma—pushed back. The rule had always been no partners. Not because anyone disliked them, but because the vibe changed when it wasn’t just the guys.

Tyler was furious.

The Fallout: Lines Are Drawn

When the group made it clear that Lisa wasn’t invited, Tyler accused them of being exclusionary, sexist, and outdated.

“It’s 2025,” he texted. “If you’re threatened by one woman joining the group, maybe the group dynamic isn’t that strong to begin with.”

Eventually, Tyler said if Lisa wasn’t welcome, he wasn’t coming either. He hasn’t spoken to most of the group since.

That’s when the poster asked Reddit: AITAH for enforcing a no-girlfriends rule on our guys’ trip?

What Reddit Had to Say

Reddit had opinions—and plenty of them.

The majority sided with the poster, pointing out that preserving long-standing traditions isn’t inherently sexist or exclusionary. It’s about preserving a particular kind of group dynamic that everyone agreed to.

Top comment:
“Tyler’s not the villain for loving his girlfriend. But he is wrong for trying to bulldoze a boundary that predates her entirely.”

Another wrote:
“This isn’t about Lisa. It’s about Tyler making a ‘me and her vs. the group’ moment instead of respecting something that existed long before she entered the picture.”

However, a few dissenters weighed in, noting that sometimes traditions need to evolve.

One user offered this perspective:
“Maybe this is less about Lisa and more about Tyler feeling like he’s growing out of the dynamic. If he feels left out or that he can’t relate anymore, maybe he’s looking for a graceful exit.”

Unpacking the Bigger Issue: Change vs. Tradition

Why People Defend Traditions

Human beings thrive on rituals. They provide consistency, identity, and connection. A yearly boys’ trip isn’t just a vacation—it’s a space to reconnect with a version of yourself that doesn’t revolve around work, relationships, or daily stress.

Adding a new person—no matter how cool they are—can disrupt that delicate balance.

Why Some Push for Change

From Tyler’s side, it may have felt like the group was excluding someone important to him. Or maybe he’s grown closer to Lisa than to the group. Maybe he’s simply in a different stage of life and hasn’t acknowledged it yet.

In relationships, it’s normal to want to integrate your partner into all areas of your life. But that doesn’t mean every space is meant to be shared.

Could This Have Been Handled Better?

Absolutely.

What the Group Could’ve Done:

Offered to meet Lisa outside of the trip context to show support.
Clearly communicated that it wasn’t about her but about keeping a specific group space sacred.
Left the door open for a future co-ed or couples trip.

What Tyler Could’ve Done:

Asked instead of assumed.
Respected the group’s traditions instead of labeling them outdated.
Recognized that one trip a year without your partner is not a rejection—it’s balance.

Final Verdict: Not the Villain—Just the Gatekeeper

Sometimes, enforcing a boundary doesn’t make you a villain—it makes you consistent.

The poster in this case wasn’t excluding Lisa out of dislike or disrespect. He was preserving a space that had personal and emotional value to everyone involved. It wasn’t about gender—it was about identity, rhythm, and ritual.

Tyler’s reaction may stem from insecurity or a mismatch of values. But pushing others to change long-standing traditions to suit a new relationship? That’s the real overstep.