AITAH for Refusing to Give My Brother My College Fund After He Got His Girlfriend Pregnant?

When it comes to family and finances, emotions can get messy—especially when expectations aren’t aligned. In today’s AITAH scenario, one sibling is caught between her future and her brother’s urgent need, leading to a Reddit post that quickly went viral.

Let’s break down what happened and who, if anyone, is in the wrong.

The Situation: A Family Emergency or Manipulation?

The poster (we’ll call her Lily), an 18-year-old high school senior, recently got accepted into her dream university. She was ecstatic—not just because of the acceptance, but because she’d spent years preparing for this moment. Her parents had been setting aside a college fund for her since she was a child, and it was finally about to be used.

Then came the twist.

Her older brother, Mark, 22, who had been living on and off with their parents, told the family that his girlfriend was pregnant. Mark doesn’t have a stable job, and he hasn’t finished school. Their parents, shocked but supportive, sat the family down—and proposed something that took Lily by surprise.

They wanted to use her college fund to help Mark “get on his feet” and support the baby.

The Refusal: “It’s My Future on the Line”

Lily said no.

She explained that she had worked hard her whole life, maintaining high grades, doing extracurriculars, volunteering—everything that would make her a good candidate for scholarships and college admissions. She didn’t ask to be in this position, and she didn’t want to give up her dreams because of Mark’s choices.

Her parents were upset. They accused her of being “selfish” and “immature,” insisting that family supports each other in times of need. Mark, meanwhile, avoided the conflict but told her privately he hoped she’d “do the right thing.”

Lily turned to Reddit’s r/AITAH to ask: Am I the a**hole for refusing to give up my college fund for my brother’s baby?

Reddit Reacts: Clear Lines, Strong Opinions

The AITAH community didn’t hold back—and the vast majority were on Lily’s side.

Why Lily Isn’t the Villain

• The fund was for her future: It was saved for her education, not for a family emergency that didn’t involve her.

• She didn’t create the problem: Mark’s situation was the result of his own actions. He and his girlfriend are responsible for their decisions.

• Unfair expectations: Expecting one child to give up everything for another sets a dangerous family precedent.

As one commenter put it:
“You’re not selfish for wanting the future you earned. You’re responsible. Your brother needs to be too.”

But Some Saw the Other Side

While most commenters defended Lily, a few acknowledged that the situation is emotionally complicated.

• Family emergencies do happen: Some argued that when real life hits, plans change—and families should adapt together.

• The baby is innocent: A child shouldn’t have to suffer because of financial instability.

Still, even the more sympathetic voices agreed that the solution shouldn’t come at the cost of Lily’s education.

Themes Beneath the Surface

Responsibility vs. Obligation

This scenario highlights a common struggle in families: when one member makes a mistake, is it the job of the others to clean it up?

Lily didn’t just refuse out of spite—she made a choice to prioritize the long-term impact on her own life. That doesn’t make her heartless; it makes her realistic.

Favoritism and Family Dynamics

Some Redditors speculated that Lily’s parents may favor Mark, citing his history of underachievement and how quickly they were willing to sacrifice her future for his.

Others pointed out how damaging it is for parents to shift resources from one child to another in moments of crisis, especially without consent.

What Could Have Been Done Differently?

• Open Discussion: The parents could have asked, not told. A conversation about options might have made Lily feel less ambushed.

• Shared Sacrifice: Instead of demanding Lily’s entire fund, the family could have brainstormed ways to share the load—loans, fundraising, part-time jobs.

• Respecting Boundaries: Ultimately, Lily has a right to say no. Her future is hers to shape.

Final Verdict: Lily Is Not the Villain

Refusing to give away something you earned isn’t selfish. It’s called protecting your future. While it’s admirable to help family when possible, it should never come at the cost of your own stability.

Lily has every right to pursue her dreams—especially when she did everything right.