AITAH for Refusing to Babysit My Best Friend’s Kids While She Went on Vacation?

Last night, I scrolled through r/AITAH and found a story that instantly caught my attention. The poster wondered if they were in the wrong for declining to babysit their best friend’s children for an entire week so she could enjoy a kid-free vacation. As you can imagine, the comments section was an absolute minefield of opinions.

Today, we’ll break down the situation, why it stirred up so much debate, and whether setting personal boundaries makes you inconsiderate—or simply human.

Let’s unpack it all.

The Story That Sparked the Debate

The original poster (OP) explained that they’d been best friends with Maya for over a decade. They’d supported each other through everything: breakups, job losses, family drama. So when Maya asked OP to watch her three young kids for seven days while she and her husband went to an all-inclusive resort, OP expected it to be a short-term arrangement—maybe a night or two at most.

However, when Maya clarified that she meant an entire week of overnight care, OP immediately said no. They worked full-time from home, lived in a small one-bedroom apartment, and didn’t feel comfortable taking on that level of responsibility.

Maya was furious. She accused OP of being selfish, unsupportive, and a “fake friend.” Mutual acquaintances began texting OP to say they should have agreed as a “favor of a lifetime.”

This sparked a fierce debate: Are you obligated to sacrifice your comfort for a friend’s dream vacation?

Friendship Obligations: Where Do You Draw the Line?

Emotional Blackmail or Reasonable Request?

One of the most polarizing aspects of this situation was the accusation of selfishness. Some commenters felt that Maya’s request crossed a line. After all, babysitting three kids for seven days is a huge responsibility—especially when you never agreed to it.

Other people argued that close friendships sometimes require “going above and beyond,” and OP should have considered how much this vacation meant to Maya.

In reality, there’s a difference between supporting a friend and being pressured into unpaid labor that disrupts your own life.

Setting Healthy Boundaries

Many users praised OP for establishing clear boundaries, emphasizing that boundaries are not a betrayal of friendship. It’s perfectly valid to say no to something that overextends your time, space, or mental health.

Boundaries protect relationships by ensuring both parties feel respected. When someone tries to guilt you into agreeing, it becomes emotional blackmail—not a genuine favor.

The Impact on the Friendship

Fallout and Guilt

OP shared that Maya had stopped talking to them and had rallied mutual friends to take sides. While some supported OP, others claimed they were overreacting.

The guilt of potentially losing a friendship over a boundary can be crushing. But it’s worth remembering: real friendships are built on mutual respect, not one-sided sacrifices.

Rebuilding Trust (If You Want To)

If OP hopes to reconcile, it might be possible to have an honest conversation. Explaining how the situation felt overwhelming and clarifying that the “no” was not personal could ease tension.

Still, reconciliation depends on whether both people are willing to respect each other’s limits.

What the Community Thought

Overall, the majority consensus in the thread was that OP was not the bad guy. The most upvoted comments included:

• “You are not free childcare.”

• “A week of overnight babysitting is an unreasonable ask, no matter how good a friend you are.”

• “No is a complete sentence.”

Many people shared their own stories of friends or family expecting them to drop everything to help. The takeaway was clear: healthy relationships don’t demand constant self-sacrifice.

Am I the Bad Guy?

At the end of the day, it’s natural to want to help people you care about. But it’s also okay to recognize your own capacity. You can love your friends deeply and still say no to something that feels like too much.

Setting boundaries doesn’t make you a bad friend—it makes you a responsible one.