AITAH for Asking My Sister to Pay Rent After She Moved In With Me?
When it comes to family, the lines between generosity and responsibility can get blurred fast. Today’s AITAH scenario dives into the complicated reality of helping out a sibling—and expecting them to contribute.
The Situation: When Helping Turns Into Resentment
A 32-year-old woman—let’s call her Sarah—shared her dilemma on r/AITAH. A few months ago, Sarah’s younger sister, Emily, 27, went through a rough breakup. She had nowhere to go, and Sarah immediately offered her a place to stay.
At first, it was meant to be temporary. Emily was supposed to stay for two months while she found a job and saved for a new apartment. But now, six months later, she’s still living there rent-free.
Sarah works full-time and covers the mortgage, utilities, groceries, and household expenses. She recently asked Emily if she could start pitching in $400 a month to help with bills. Emily was offended. She called Sarah “cold” and accused her of caring more about money than family.
Sarah feels taken advantage of—but she also feels guilty. Is she the villain for asking her sister to help pay rent?
The Case for Sarah: Boundaries and Fairness
She’s Carrying the Entire Financial Load
It’s important to recognize that Sarah didn’t invite Emily indefinitely. She offered a temporary place to land, not a long-term free ride. Six months of free housing is already an enormous gift.
Adding another adult to a household increases expenses: water, electricity, food, and wear and tear. Even if Emily is between jobs, contributing something is reasonable.
Independence and Self-Respect
Sometimes, paying even a little rent helps the guest feel invested and less like a dependent. It can also motivate them to regain stability faster. Sarah’s request wasn’t an eviction notice—it was a push toward responsibility.
The Case for Emily: Family Should Help Each Other
She’s in a Vulnerable Position
Emily has been through a lot emotionally and financially. Her breakup disrupted her life, and she hasn’t yet secured stable income. From her perspective, the timing of Sarah’s request feels unsympathetic.
She may believe that sisters should support each other unconditionally, especially during hardship. Asking for rent feels, to her, like a transactional move that undermines their bond.
Reddit Weighs In: Is Sarah the Villain?
The r/AITAH community had strong opinions—and the majority sided with Sarah.
“Six months is plenty of time to get back on your feet,” one commenter wrote. “Family support doesn’t mean you get a free pass forever.”
Others emphasized that financial boundaries don’t mean a lack of love. “You’re not her landlord. You’re her sister. But even family has limits.”
However, a few people sympathized with Emily’s side. “If she’s not working, $400 might feel impossible,” a user pointed out. “Maybe start with a smaller contribution.”
Finding a Solution: Compassionate Boundaries
Communicate Clearly
Sarah should sit down with Emily and explain why she’s asking for rent. It’s not about punishment—it’s about fairness and sustainability. Being transparent can reduce resentment on both sides.
Explore Alternatives
If Emily genuinely can’t pay $400 right now, Sarah could suggest smaller contributions, like covering groceries or taking over chores. Even partial help shows commitment.
Set a Timeline
Agree on a clear timeline for Emily to secure employment and move out. Open-ended arrangements can breed tension. A plan empowers both sisters to move forward.
