AITAH for Telling My Best Friend She Shouldn’t Get Married Just Because She’s Pregnant?

July 3, 2025

Sometimes honesty comes at a price—especially when it challenges someone’s life decisions. One Reddit user learned this the hard way when they tried to share a candid opinion with their best friend, only to be met with anger, accusations, and a damaged relationship.

This AITAH story dives into the murky waters of unsolicited advice, friendship boundaries, and whether caring about someone means staying silent or speaking up.

The Backstory: A Surprise Engagement

The Original Poster (OP) explained that their best friend of over a decade, “Jenna,” had been dating her boyfriend for less than six months when she found out she was pregnant. Within a week of confirming the pregnancy, the couple announced not just the baby news—but also an engagement.

While everyone else seemed excited, OP felt uneasy. Jenna and her fiancé had already broken up once in their short relationship, and OP worried the engagement was more about the baby than true commitment.

When Jenna shared her plans to have a quick courthouse wedding “before she started to show,” OP blurted out:

“I don’t think getting married just because you’re pregnant is a good idea.”

The reaction was immediate—and explosive.

Honesty or Overstepping? When Advice Crosses a Line

Friendship and the Unwritten Rule of Support

In Jenna’s eyes, OP’s comment was a betrayal. She accused OP of being judgmental and unsupportive, especially at a vulnerable time.

But OP felt their words came from a place of care—not criticism. They worried Jenna was rushing into marriage out of fear or societal pressure, rather than love.

This is the heart of the conflict: Is it ever appropriate to question someone’s big life choices—even when you believe you have their best interests at heart?

The Difference Between Support and Approval

Many Redditors who weighed in pointed out that support doesn’t always mean agreeing with every decision. Real friendship sometimes means holding up a mirror—even when the reflection isn’t flattering.

But timing and delivery matter. In this case, OP’s words came right as Jenna was sharing her plans, likely making her feel attacked instead of supported.

Reddit’s Verdict: A Divided Crowd

Unlike some AITAH stories, Reddit didn’t have a unanimous judgment here. Instead, the responses were split:

Some felt OP was Not the Jerk, praising them for caring enough to be honest.
Others said OP was the Jerk, arguing that unsolicited advice—especially during a life-changing moment—is rarely helpful.

Common Themes From the Comments

“Your concerns are valid, but it wasn’t your place to say anything unless she asked for your opinion.”

“Getting married just because of a baby can be a bad idea, but it’s her choice to make.”

“You’re not wrong for worrying about her, but you could have waited or found a gentler way to express it.”

These perspectives highlight how tricky it can be to balance honesty with empathy.

When Should You Speak Up—and When Should You Stay Quiet?

Gauging Whether Your Input Is Needed

Before offering your opinion on someone’s major life decisions, ask yourself:

Did they explicitly ask what you think?
Are you in the right emotional space to have a constructive conversation?
Is your concern based on genuine care—or personal bias?

In OP’s case, they believed they were acting out of concern, but without an invitation to share, it felt intrusive.

Timing and Tone Are Everything

Even if your opinion is well-intentioned, how you deliver it matters. Saying “I’m worried you’re rushing” is softer and more supportive than “I don’t think you should do this.”

A private conversation, rather than a reaction in the middle of a celebration, could have made a huge difference.

The Aftermath: Can This Friendship Be Repaired?

Jenna was so hurt that she stopped responding to OP’s messages. OP now wonders if they’ve lost their best friend for good.

Many Reddit users encouraged OP to give her time and space—and when emotions cool, send a heartfelt apology. Even if OP still believes what they said, acknowledging that the delivery was poorly timed could help rebuild trust.

Final Thoughts: Caring Doesn’t Excuse Overstepping

This AITAH scenario shows that the road to conflict is often paved with good intentions. You can care deeply about someone and still cross a line.

Whether or not OP was the jerk depends on your perspective. But one thing is clear: Sharing your opinion, especially on something as personal as marriage and parenthood, should always be done with sensitivity.