AITA for Refusing to Move in With My Boyfriend Because He Won’t Do Chores?
Moving in together is a big step in any relationship, but what if one partner refuses to help with household responsibilities? One woman is standing her ground and refusing to move in with her boyfriend until he proves he can pull his weight. Is she right, or is she overreacting?
The Original Post: A Glimpse Into the Future
He Expects Me to Handle Everything
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a while, and he recently asked me to move in with him. I was excited at first—until I started noticing something concerning.
Whenever I stay over at his place, I’m the one cleaning up. Dishes pile up in the sink, laundry goes untouched, and I always end up doing the work. If I don’t, the mess just sits there. When I brought it up, he laughed and said he’s just “not a clean person” and that I “care about that stuff more than he does.”
I told him I wouldn’t move in unless we had a plan to split chores fairly. He thinks I’m making a big deal out of nothing and that I should just relax. Now, I’m wondering if I’m being too rigid. Am I the asshole?
The Community Reacts: Reasonable or Too Demanding?
Many people agreed that refusing to move in with my boyfriend was the right choice.
“If he’s like this now, imagine how much worse it’ll be once you live together full-time.”
“You’re not his maid. If he won’t change now, he probably never will.”
“Moving in together should make your life easier, not harder.”
However, some thought I was overreacting.
“Maybe he just needs time to adjust—moving in could help him improve.”
“Some people just don’t care about messes as much. Is this really a dealbreaker?”
“Relationships are about compromise—maybe set expectations instead of refusing outright.”
The Verdict: Setting Standards or Being Too Strict?
While some believed I should give him a chance, most agreed that refusing to move in with my boyfriend was a smart decision until he proves he’s willing to contribute.
At the end of the day, a shared home should be an equal effort. Would you move in with someone who refuses to help with chores, or would you stand your ground? Let us know in the comments!
