AITA for Refusing to Recover at Home After Surgery? This Wife’s Story Sparks Outrage

When a woman recovering from surgery couldn’t get her own husband to pick her up from the hospital—because he was on a hike with his mom—the internet exploded with support for her. Her viral Reddit post in the AITA (Am I The Asshole) subreddit raises major red flags about emotional abandonment, misplaced priorities, and unhealthy mother-son dynamics.

Here’s a breakdown of what happened, why thousands of people say she’s NTA, and why many believe this may not just be about one bad weekend—but about a marriage worth walking away from.

The Setup: A Cross-Country Mother-in-Law and a Compromised Marriage

The Original Poster (OP), a 29-year-old woman, has been married to her 30-year-old husband for several years. From the start, one issue loomed large in their relationship: his mother.

Living across the country, OP’s mother-in-law used to visit multiple times a year, demanding her son take PTO to entertain her—time that could have been spent bonding with OP, vacationing together, or simply living life as a couple.

Eventually, OP confronted her husband about the imbalance, and they compromised: he would limit his time off when she visited and save PTO for their own plans. It seemed like progress… until it wasn’t.

A Life-Improving Surgery… and a Thoughtless Disappearance

After relocating to be closer to her own family, OP finally got approved for a long-delayed surgery—nothing major, but crucial for her quality of life. Her husband supported the idea… at least on paper.

Around the same time, her mother-in-law decided it was a great opportunity to visit and “help out.” OP was understandably hesitant—MIL’s past behavior had been more vacation-mode than caretaking. Still, her husband assured her this trip wasn’t for sightseeing.

But that promise unraveled quickly.

OP was scheduled to spend one night in the hospital. After complications arose, she was kept a second night for observation. She called her husband, assuming he’d visit or at least be on call. He didn’t visit. He didn’t even answer his phone.

Why? He went on a hike with his mom.

Let that sink in: she was alone, recovering from surgery, and he was off the grid with mommy—again.

Abandoned at Discharge and Rescued by Her Sister

The next day, OP was discharged. She called her husband multiple times. Voicemail. No answer. No response. She waited over an hour before finally calling her sister, who drove 90 minutes to get her from the hospital.

What she came home to was even worse:

• Laundry piled up on the dining table

• Dishes rotting in the sink

• Litter box untouched since before surgery

OP broke down in tears and her sister—acting more like a spouse than her actual husband—packed her a bag and brought her to her apartment to recover.

His Excuse? “There Was No Cell Service.”

Later that night, OP’s husband finally called to ask why she wasn’t home. He had just returned from hiking with his mom and didn’t have service. He admitted he took PTO for her visit—again—despite the agreement they made.

And instead of apologizing, he blamed OP for “making a big deal out of it.” He insisted his mom just wanted to “explore the new town.”

OP’s response? She told him she wouldn’t return home until:

1. The house was cleaned.

2. His mother was gone.

Her husband called her selfish. Reddit, however, had a very different take.

Reddit Verdict: Absolutely NTA

Thousands of commenters rallied behind OP, and the consensus was loud and clear: Not. The. Asshole.

Key comments included:

• “He left you when you needed him the most.”

• “Let his mom have him.”

• “This is the mountain to die on. Not just the hill.”

• “You’re not overreacting thinking about divorce.”

Many users even shared personal stories of supportive spouses who never left their side during medical crises. Others pointed out the toxic enmeshment between husband and mother and urged OP to consider legal advice—not just for the divorce, but to protect her sanity and autonomy.

When a Mother-in-Law Becomes the Other Woman

One of the deeper issues highlighted by the thread is the husband’s codependency with his mother. Redditors called him a “mommy’s boy,” and not in the cute way. His pattern of putting his mother before his wife—especially in a moment of vulnerability—was seen as a betrayal, not a mere oversight.

This wasn’t just about hiking or cell service. It was about priorities. About marriage. About emotional maturity.

As one commenter wrote:

“You are dying alone on that hill. Because your husband will be hiking with his mother around the hill and ignore you.”

Final Thoughts: When Surgery Recovery Turns Into a Reality Check

OP asked Reddit if this was a “stupid hill to die on.”

The answer? No. This isn’t just a hill—it’s the mountain.

Her story is a reminder that physical vulnerability reveals emotional truths. When you’re lying in a hospital bed and your spouse chooses a nature walk over your recovery, it’s not about logistics—it’s about values.

Whether she divorces or not is up to her. But the emotional neglect and misplaced loyalties on display here are more than a red flag—they’re a flashing warning siren.

Verdict: Not the Asshole. But the Husband and His Mother? Big Time AHs.

If you were in her shoes, would you stay or go? Let us know your thoughts.

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