AITAH for Asking My Best Friend to Move Out After He Brought His Girlfriend to Live With Us Without Asking?

Living with a close friend can be amazing—until you discover you have very different ideas about privacy, respect, and boundaries. In today’s AITAH scenario, one roommate’s decision to treat a shared apartment like a couple’s retreat ignited a storm of resentment and a question many of us dread: Am I the villain here?

Let’s dive into the story.

The Situation: When a Guest Becomes a Roommate

The original poster—let’s call him Mark—is a 28-year-old graphic designer who shares a two-bedroom apartment with his best friend, Dan. They’ve been roommates for almost three years, splitting rent, bills, and chores without much conflict.

That changed a few months ago when Dan started dating a new girlfriend, Kayla. At first, Mark didn’t mind her visits. She stayed over a few nights a week, and everyone got along fine. But slowly, “a few nights” turned into “every night,” until Kayla was effectively living in their apartment.

Mark never agreed to this arrangement. Kayla started leaving clothes in the bathroom, cooking elaborate meals, and using shared supplies. Even worse, Dan never offered to adjust the rent or utilities, despite Kayla now using the space full-time.

The Tipping Point: Enough Is Enough

Mark tried to be patient. He assumed this was a short-term situation and that Dan would eventually talk to him about it. But weeks turned into months, and nothing changed.

Things came to a head when Mark came home early one evening to find Kayla reorganizing the kitchen cabinets—without asking. It felt like the final straw. He sat Dan down and said, bluntly, that this arrangement wasn’t working. Kayla either needed to stop staying over constantly, or Dan needed to find somewhere else to live with her.

Dan was stunned. He accused Mark of being controlling, petty, and unsupportive. He claimed Kayla had nowhere else to go and that Mark was overreacting. He also insisted that because she didn’t officially change her address, she wasn’t really “living there.”

Mark disagreed—and gave Dan 60 days to move out.

Reddit Weighs In: Who’s Really the Villain?

The r/AITAH community has never been shy about voicing opinions, and this post was no exception. Most commenters sided with Mark.

Here’s why:

• Uncommunicated Decisions: Dan never asked permission to effectively move in a third roommate.

• Financial Imbalance: Two people using resources while only paying one share is unfair.

• Loss of Privacy: Mark’s home life changed completely without his consent.

• Boundary Violations: Guests should never assume entitlement to shared spaces.

As one top comment put it:
“She’s not a guest anymore. She’s an unpaid tenant who didn’t sign the lease.”

Still, some sympathized with Dan’s perspective. They argued that Mark could have communicated sooner and perhaps set clearer expectations before reaching the point of eviction.

The Bigger Issue: Roommates vs. Relationships

This scenario highlights a problem many renters face: what happens when your roommate’s relationship starts affecting your living situation?

Living with a best friend blurs boundaries between friendship and business. One person’s romantic life can quickly become the other person’s headache. Without clear communication, resentment festers—and that’s exactly what happened here.

How Mark Could Have Handled It Differently

While Mark’s frustration was justified, some Redditors offered advice for a more gradual approach:

• Initiate a Calm Conversation Sooner: Rather than waiting until he was furious, Mark could have brought up the issue when the overnights increased.

• Suggest a Guest Policy Agreement: Putting expectations in writing can help avoid confusion.

• Offer a Rent Adjustment: If Kayla was going to stay, they could have renegotiated contributions to utilities and rent.

• Set a Limit: Agreeing on how many nights per week a guest can stay helps prevent tension.

The Takeaway: Boundaries Aren’t Cruel

It can feel harsh to ask someone to move out, especially a best friend. But boundaries are essential to a respectful living environment. If someone’s actions are making your home unlivable, it’s not wrong to stand up for yourself.

Mark wasn’t kicking Dan out on the street with no notice. He offered a clear timeline for moving and explained his reasons. That’s not controlling—it’s honest.