AITAH For Asking My Roommate To Pay My Bills

Living with a roommate can be a great way to save money—until finances get messy. Recently, I found myself in a situation where I had to ask my roommate to cover some of my bills, and let’s just say… it didn’t go well. Now I’m left wondering: Was I the AH here? Let me explain what happened, and you can be the judge.

The Financial Strain Begins

About six months ago, I lost my job unexpectedly. I had savings, but after a few months, things got tight. My roommate, Jess, knew about my situation but never offered to help—which was fine at first. I didn’t expect her to. But then, my car broke down, and I had to dip into my rent money to fix it.

I figured I’d ask Jess if she could cover my half of the utilities for just one month while I got back on my feet. I even promised to pay her back as soon as I found work. Her response? “That’s not my problem.”

Why I Asked

I didn’t ask lightly. Jess and I had been friends before moving in together, and we’d always split everything 50/50. But when I explained how dire things were—how I was barely making rent and skipping meals—I thought she’d at least consider helping. Instead, she acted like I was trying to scam her.

I get that it’s not her responsibility, but if our roles were reversed, I’d have helped in a heartbeat. Was it really so unreasonable to ask?

Her Reaction

Jess didn’t just say no—she got angry. She accused me of being irresponsible and said I should’ve budgeted better. She even threatened to tell our other friends I was trying to mooch off her. That hurt. I wasn’t asking for a handout—just a temporary loan.

Now, things are awkward at home. She barely talks to me, and I feel like I’m walking on eggshells. Did I ruin our friendship by asking?

Outside Perspectives

I talked to a few friends about it, and the responses were mixed. Some said Jess was being heartless, while others agreed it wasn’t her job to bail me out. One friend suggested I should’ve asked for a smaller amount or offered a repayment plan upfront.

Looking back, maybe I could’ve handled it differently. But in the moment, I was desperate. Does that make me the AH?

Where We Stand Now

I ended up borrowing money from my parents to cover the bills, which was humbling but necessary. Jess and I still live together, but the dynamic has changed. She’s colder now, and I can’t help but wonder if our friendship is salvageable.

Part of me regrets asking, but another part thinks a real friend would’ve at least tried to help. Was I wrong to expect that?

Was I the AH?

So, Reddit, I’m turning to you. AITAH for asking my roommate to pay my bills? I know it’s a big ask, but given the circumstances, was it really so out of line? Or should I have kept my financial struggles to myself?

I’d love to hear your thoughts—especially from those who’ve been in similar situations. Drop a comment below and let me know if I crossed a line or if Jess overreacted.

Final Thoughts

This whole situation has taught me a lot about boundaries, friendships, and financial responsibility. Maybe I was the AH for putting Jess in that position, or maybe she was for refusing to help a friend in need. Either way, it’s a tough lesson learned.

If you’ve ever been in a similar spot, I’d love to hear how you handled it. And if you think I was wrong, tell me why—I’m open to feedback. Thanks for reading, and don’t forget to share your vote in the comments!