AITAH for Asking My Sister Not to Use My Baby Name Idea?

Hey everyone, I need some honest opinions here. I’m currently pregnant with my first child, and my sister just announced her pregnancy too. We’ve always been close, but things got tense when I asked her not to use my favorite baby name—the one I’ve dreamed of for years. Now she’s upset, and I’m wondering: Am I the a**hole here?

The Baby Name Backstory

Let me give you some context. Ever since I was a teenager, I’ve loved the name Eleanor Rose. It was my grandmother’s name, and she was my hero. I’ve told my sister countless times over the years that if I ever had a daughter, this would be her name.

Fast forward to now—I’m 20 weeks pregnant with a girl, and my sister (who’s 12 weeks along) just told me she’s considering Eleanor with a different middle name. When I gently reminded her this was my special name, she got defensive and said, “You don’t own names.”

Our Heated Conversation

Here’s how our argument went down:

Me: “I’m so happy we’re pregnant together! But I was surprised you’re thinking of Eleanor—you know how much that name means to me.”

Sister: “It’s just a name, and we might not even have girls. Why are you being possessive?”

Me: “It’s not just any name—it’s been my baby name for 15 years. There are thousands of other beautiful names!”

She stormed out, and we haven’t spoken in two days. Our mom says I should drop it because “the babies can share the name,” but that feels wrong to me.

Family Reactions Divided

Our family is split:

Team Me:

• My husband: “She knows this name is sentimental.”
• Our cousin: “You called dibs fair and square.”

Team Sister:

• Mom: “Don’t let a name ruin your bond.”
• Her best friend: “First come, first served with baby names.”

The weirdest part? My sister never mentioned liking this name before. Now suddenly it’s her top choice?

Name Theft Etiquette

I did some research, and apparently this is a common issue. According to parenting forums:

Unwritten Rules:

• If someone has openly claimed a name for years, it’s off-limits
• Family names require discussion
• First to give birth typically “wins” disputed names

But is that fair? I’m due four months before her—should I just name my baby Eleanor and let her deal with it? That feels petty, but so does surrendering my dream name.

Alternative Solutions

I’ve considered compromises:

Option 1: Different variations (Ellie, Nora, Lenore)

Option 2: Same first name, different middle names

Option 3: Flip a coin (kidding… mostly)

But honestly? None feel right. This name connects my daughter to her great-grandmother in a way no variation could.

My Breaking Point

Yesterday, my sister texted: “I’ve decided—if it’s a girl, we’re using Eleanor Claire. Hope you’ll be happy for us.”

No discussion. Just a declaration. I burst into tears—it felt like she was deliberately stealing this from me after years of knowing what it meant.

My husband thinks we should use the name anyway and let the cousins share it. But won’t that just cause lifelong confusion and resentment?

Seeking Your Judgment

So here’s where I need your help, internet strangers:

AITAH for:

• Asking her to choose a different name?
• Being unwilling to share the name?
• Considering using it anyway despite her announcement?

Part of me wonders if I’m overreacting, but another part feels this is about more than a name—it’s about respect, tradition, and boundaries.

What Would You Do?

I’m at a crossroads:

Path 1: Stand my ground and risk family tension

Path 2: Let her have the name and always regret it

Path 3: Find some magical third solution I haven’t thought of

Have you been through something similar? How did you handle it? Am I being unreasonable, or is my sister crossing a line? I’m desperate for perspective before this damages our relationship forever.

Your Thoughts Matter

Drop your verdict in the comments—I’ll read every response. If you think I’m wrong, I promise to reflect on that. If you think my sister’s being unfair, maybe I’ll show her this post (kidding… maybe).

Subscribe if you want updates on how this name drama unfolds. Will there be a happy ending? A baby name showdown? Stay tuned…