AITAH For Getting My Mom A Jobless In-Law Fired

Family drama hit a boiling point last week, and now I’m being painted as the villain by half my relatives. Here’s what happened – my unemployed brother-in-law (my sister’s husband) finally got a job through my mom’s connections… and I got him fired within two weeks. Now everyone’s calling me petty and jealous, but I think I did the right thing. Let me explain the situation, and you tell me: AITAH here?

The Background Context

My brother-in-law Mark (32) has been unemployed for nearly 18 months. My sister Sarah (30) has been supporting their family on her teacher’s salary while Mark “looked for work” – which mostly meant playing video games and occasionally sending out resumes. My mom, who’s a department head at a mid-sized marketing firm, finally caved to Sarah’s constant begging and got Mark an entry-level position in their IT department.

Here’s where things get messy. I work at the same company (different department), which is how I discovered what Mark was really doing at work. My mom pulled strings to get him this job, putting her own reputation on the line. She made me promise to “look out for him,” but what I witnessed went beyond normal newbie struggles.

The Workplace Offenses

Within three days of starting, Mark was already cutting corners. I’d walk by his station to find him watching YouTube tutorials… on how to bypass company firewalls. By week two, he’d:

• Installed gaming software on his work computer (against policy)

• Clocked in remotely then didn’t show up for hours

• Asked coworkers to cover for his long lunch breaks

• Bragged in the breakroom about how “nepo babies don’t get fired”

The final straw came when IT flagged his computer for mining cryptocurrency using company resources – a fireable offense that could have legal consequences.

The Ethical Dilemma

I wrestled with whether to report him. On one hand, family loyalty said to give him a warning first. On the other, his actions were:

1. Putting my mom’s job at risk (she vouched for him)

2. Creating security vulnerabilities for the whole company

3. Unfair to coworkers actually doing their jobs

I decided to anonymously tip off HR with evidence. They investigated and fired him within 48 hours. When the truth came out that I was involved, all hell broke loose.

The Family Fallout

Sarah called me a “career saboteur” and accused me of always being jealous of her marriage. My mom, while acknowledging Mark messed up, said I should have handled it “within the family.” Even my dad thinks I was too harsh, arguing “boys will be boys” and that Mark just needed more time to adjust.

The worst part? Mark is now telling everyone I made up the allegations because I “want him to fail.” Nevermind that IT had documented evidence of everything. The narrative in my family is shifting to portray me as the problem, not the guy who abused his position.

My Justification

Here’s why I stand by my decision:

1. Professional integrity matters – If anyone else had done this, they’d be fired immediately. Why should family get special treatment to break rules?

2. Protecting my mom – When (not if) this came out, her judgment would have been questioned for hiring him. Now she can claim she didn’t know.

3. Tough love – Maybe getting fired will finally make Mark take job hunting seriously instead of relying on family bailouts.

Was I supposed to let him keep jeopardizing company security? Risk my own job by staying silent? Enable his irresponsible behavior indefinitely?

The Aftermath Reflection

It’s been two weeks since the firing. The fallout includes:

• Sarah isn’t speaking to me

• Family gatherings have become awkward

• My mom is getting pressure to “make things right”

• Mark still hasn’t started job searching again

Yet at work, three different colleagues have quietly thanked me. Turns out Mark had been hitting on female coworkers and making inappropriate jokes too – things I hadn’t even known about when I reported him.

Your Verdict Please

So tell me honestly – AITAH for getting my brother-in-law fired? Should I have given him a private warning first? Was preserving family harmony more important than workplace ethics in this case? The way my relatives are reacting has me second-guessing whether I did the right thing, even though my conscience says I did.

If you’ve been in a similar situation or have thoughts about where I went wrong (or right), please share your perspective in the comments. I could really use some outside opinions on whether I’m the villain here or just the messenger who got shot.