AITAH for Kicking My Cousin Out After She Refused to Help with Any Chores?

The Backstory Unfolds

Let me start by saying I never thought I’d be in this situation. My cousin, Sarah (name changed for privacy), moved in with me three months ago after losing her job. At first, I was happy to help—family sticks together, right? But what started as a temporary arrangement quickly turned into a nightmare.

I own a small two-bedroom apartment, and while it’s not huge, it’s comfortable. I made it clear from the beginning that if she was staying rent-free, she’d need to contribute in other ways. We agreed she’d help with cooking, cleaning, and general upkeep. That agreement lasted exactly one week.

The Chore Wars Begin

At first, Sarah would half-heartedly load the dishwasher or sweep the floor, but soon, even that stopped. Dishes piled up in the sink, laundry was left unfolded for days, and takeout containers littered the living room. Every time I asked her to pitch in, she’d roll her eyes and say, “I’m not your maid.”

I work full-time, often putting in 50+ hours a week. Coming home to a disaster zone while she lounged on the couch watching Netflix was infuriating. I wasn’t asking for perfection—just basic respect.

The Breaking Point

Last weekend was the final straw. I hosted a small get-together with friends, and the apartment was a wreck. I asked Sarah to at least tidy up the bathroom and vacuum the living room. She shrugged and said, “Not my problem.”

I lost it. I told her if she couldn’t contribute, she couldn’t stay. She called me selfish and stormed off to her room. The next morning, I handed her a 30-day notice to move out. She packed her bags that same day and left, telling our entire family I “kicked her out for no reason.”

Family Drama Ensues

Now, my phone is blowing up. Aunts, uncles, even my mom are saying I overreacted. “She’s family!” they say. “You should’ve been more patient.” But none of them offered to take her in. Funny how that works, isn’t it?

Sarah is now staying with another relative, and from what I hear, she’s pulling the same stunt—zero chores, zero respect. Part of me feels vindicated, but another part wonders if I should’ve handled it differently.

Was I Too Harsh?

I get that losing a job is stressful. I really do. But does that excuse freeloading? I wasn’t charging her rent, utilities, or even groceries. All I asked was for her to act like a responsible adult in a shared space.

Some friends say I was justified—boundaries are important. Others think I should’ve given her more time to “adjust.” But three months of being treated like a doormat feels like plenty of time to me.

Setting Boundaries Matters

Here’s the thing: I don’t regret my decision. What I regret is not enforcing the rules sooner. Letting someone take advantage of you—family or not—only breeds resentment. A healthy relationship requires mutual effort.

If I could go back, I’d set clearer expectations from Day 1. Maybe a written agreement would’ve helped. But at the end of the day, Sarah knew what she was doing. And so did I.

What Do You Think?

Now I’m turning it over to you. AITAH for kicking my cousin out? Should I have been more patient, or was I right to stand my ground? Have you ever been in a similar situation with family or roommates?

Drop your thoughts in the comments below—I’d love to hear your take!