AITAH For Making My Husband Turn Off His Game During Dinner
The Dinner Table Struggle
Last night, I finally snapped. After months of watching my husband scroll through his phone or play mobile games during our family dinners, I reached my breaking point. As he absentmindedly tapped at his screen while shoveling food into his mouth, I calmly but firmly said, “Please turn off your game during dinner.” The look he gave me made me question everything – was I being unreasonable?
Dinner has always been important to me. Growing up, it was the one time my entire family would actually connect without distractions. Now that we have two kids of our own (ages 5 and 7), I’ve tried to maintain that tradition. But my husband’s gaming habit has slowly eroded our family meals into… well, just fuel stops.
His Immediate Reaction
When I asked him to put the game away, he actually sighed dramatically before reluctantly closing the app. “It’s just a quick match,” he said. “I’m still listening.” But that’s the thing – he wasn’t. Our daughter had been trying to tell him about her school project for three minutes while he was focused on his game.
The tension at the table became palpable. Our son asked why daddy looked mad, and my husband responded, “Because mommy doesn’t understand that adults need breaks too.” This stung – I work full-time just like he does, plus handle most of the household chores and kid duties. When exactly is my break?
The Bigger Pattern
This wasn’t an isolated incident. Over the past year, I’ve noticed my husband increasingly retreating into his phone games whenever there’s downtime. Waiting at restaurants? Gaming. Kids’ soccer practice? Gaming. Commercial breaks during our rare TV time together? You guessed it – gaming.
What bothers me most is the example we’re setting for our kids. Our son has started asking for a phone “like daddy’s” and our daughter mimics scrolling motions with her toys. I don’t want them growing up thinking it’s normal to ignore the people around you for screen time.
Our Argument After
After the kids went to bed, we had our first real argument about this. He accused me of “trying to control his relaxation time” and said I don’t appreciate how hard he works. I countered that I’m not against gaming altogether – just during our limited family time. Twenty minutes of undivided attention during dinner suddenly seemed like an impossible request.
The conversation escalated when he brought up that I sometimes check emails during breakfast. Fair point – but breakfast is chaotic with getting kids ready for school. Dinner is our one guaranteed moment to connect as a family without rushing. Doesn’t that deserve protection?
Seeking Middle Ground
The next day, I did some research on healthy gaming boundaries in relationships. Many experts suggest designated “tech-free zones” like the dinner table, but also recommend scheduling guilt-free gaming time. Maybe we could compromise – no phones during meals, but he gets uninterrupted gaming after the kids’ bedtime?
I also realized I might have approached this wrong. Instead of demanding he turn off the game in the moment, perhaps we should have had a calm discussion about expectations beforehand. Still, part of me feels like basic dinner etiquette shouldn’t require a formal agreement between spouses.
What The Kids Notice
The most eye-opening moment came when our daughter drew a family portrait at school this week. There we all were at the table – me and the kids clearly drawn, while daddy was just a vague shape holding a rectangle. When her teacher asked why daddy looked different, she simply said, “That’s his phone.”
That picture hit me hard. Is this how our children will remember their father – as a distracted presence at meals? I showed it to my husband without comment. He stared at it for a long time before quietly saying, “Okay, I get it now.”
Moving Forward Together
We’re still working through this, but there’s been progress. Last night, he voluntarily left his phone charging in the bedroom during dinner. The difference was remarkable – actual conversations, laughter, and even a silly food fight with the kids. Afterward, he admitted, “That was… nice.”
Maybe the solution isn’t about banning games completely, but about protecting certain sacred times. I’m willing to be more flexible about his gaming at other times if he can commit to being present during meals. After all, isn’t compromise what marriage is all about?
Your Thoughts?
So tell me honestly – was I the asshole for insisting on game-free dinners? How do you handle technology boundaries in your relationships? I’d love to hear your experiences and advice in the comments. And if you’ve faced similar struggles, maybe share this post to see what solutions others suggest?
At the end of the day, we all just want to feel valued by our partners – whether that’s through undivided attention at meals or respecting each other’s need for downtime. Here’s hoping we can all find that balance.
