AITAH for Not Changing My Wedding Date to Accommodate a Relative?

Weddings are supposed to be joyful occasions, but sometimes family drama turns them into battlegrounds. Recently, I found myself in a heated debate over my wedding date, and now I’m wondering: Am I the a**hole (AITAH) for refusing to change it for a relative? Here’s my story—let me know what you think.

The Wedding Date Dilemma

After a year-long engagement, my fiancé and I finally settled on a date that worked perfectly for us: June 15th. We booked our dream venue, secured our vendors, and sent out save-the-dates. Everything was falling into place… until my cousin, Sarah, called.

Sarah announced that she had just scheduled a non-refundable vacation for June 10th-20th and “politely requested” we move our wedding so she could attend. When I hesitated, she accused me of being selfish and inconsiderate.

Family Pressure Mounts

What started as a simple request quickly escalated. Sarah rallied other relatives, who argued that “family should come first” and that we could easily reschedule. Never mind that:

• Our venue only had one other available date in December (a season we didn’t want)
• We’d lose thousands in deposits
• Many guests had already requested time off work

Suddenly, I was the villain for prioritizing our wedding over her vacation.

Standing My Ground

I told Sarah that while I was sorry she’d miss it, we wouldn’t be changing the date. Cue the waterworks. My aunt called me “heartless,” and my mom suggested I “compromise” by having a smaller ceremony later. Even my fiancé started second-guessing our decision after the backlash.

But here’s the thing: This is OUR wedding. Not Sarah’s, not my aunt’s, not even my mom’s. We’ve already compromised on so much—why should we bend on this?

The Fallout

Sarah has now declared she’s “done with me,” and several relatives are threatening to boycott. Meanwhile, others are whispering that I’m ruining family harmony over one day. The guilt trips are relentless:

• “You’ll regret this when you look back at your wedding photos.”
• “Is this really the hill you want to die on?”
• “Family is forever, but weddings are just one day.”

But if family is forever, shouldn’t they support our choices?

Outside Perspectives

When I vented to friends, reactions were mixed. Some said I was completely justified, while others suggested I “pick my battles.” My maid of honor nailed it: “Sarah didn’t consult you before booking her trip—why should you rearrange your wedding for her?”

Even our wedding planner said this happens all the time and that couples who cave often regret it. Still, the family guilt is eating at me.

Was I Wrong?

Logically, I know we’re not AHs. But emotionally? It’s rough. I keep wondering:

• Should we have tried harder to accommodate her?
• Is refusing to change the date worth the rift?
• Would I expect the same flexibility if roles were reversed?

At the end of the day, though, this is our marriage, our celebration, and our choice. If Sarah truly cared, she’d find a way to make it work—or gracefully bow out.

Your Verdict

So, AITAH for refusing to change our wedding date? I’m torn between standing firm and keeping the peace. Have you faced similar drama? How did you handle it? Drop your thoughts in the comments—I need all the advice I can get!

P.S. If you’ve got a stubborn relative of your own, share your story below. Misery loves company!