AITAH for Not Giving My Friend a Wedding Invite After She Ghosted Me for a Year?

Friendships can go through ups and downs, but when someone disappears from your life without a word and reappears just in time for a major life event—like your wedding—it raises questions. Do you owe them inclusion in your celebration? Or are they simply reaping benefits they didn’t earn?

This AITAH scenario dives into one such situation: a bride-to-be left wondering if her choice to exclude a once-close friend makes her selfish—or simply honest.

The Backstory: A Tight Bond Suddenly Broken

The original poster (let’s call her Maya) took to Reddit’s r/AITAH to share her dilemma. She and her friend, whom we’ll call Jenna, were incredibly close for over seven years. They were practically inseparable—celebrating birthdays together, texting daily, supporting each other through heartbreaks and milestones.

But about a year ago, Jenna seemingly vanished. Texts went unanswered. Calls were ignored. There was no fight, no falling out, no clear reason—just complete radio silence.

Maya assumed Jenna needed space or was going through something. She gave her time, reached out occasionally, and respected her boundaries. But after nearly a full year of silence, Maya moved on with her life.

The Twist: Wedding Announcement Brings Jenna Back

Fast forward to Maya’s engagement. She posted a few photos online, and suddenly—Jenna reached out.

She sent a message full of excitement and congratulations, acting as though nothing had happened. She mentioned how happy she was for Maya and even hinted that she couldn’t wait to celebrate the big day.

Maya was stunned. After months of nothing, Jenna reappeared just in time for the party. And while part of her felt happy to hear from her old friend, another part felt hurt—and suspicious.

The Decision: No Invitation Sent

When it came time to send out wedding invitations, Maya made a tough call: Jenna was not on the list.

Maya explained in her post, “It didn’t feel right to include someone who completely disappeared from my life without explanation—only to return when it suited her.”

A few days later, Jenna texted again, asking casually about the wedding. When Maya gently explained that the guest list was limited and that she didn’t feel comfortable sending her an invite after such a long silence, Jenna was furious.

She accused Maya of being petty, unforgiving, and “gatekeeping friendship milestones.” She said Maya was being dramatic and should’ve been more understanding.

Feeling unsure, Maya asked Reddit: AITAH for not inviting her to the wedding?

The Community Responds: A Clear Verdict

As usual, the r/AITAH subreddit had plenty to say—and the majority were on Maya’s side.

Why Maya’s Not the Villain

• Friendships Are Two-Way Streets: Jenna didn’t ghost because she was overwhelmed or grieving—at least not as far as Maya knows. She simply cut contact with no explanation.

• Reappearing at Convenient Times Is Suspicious: Many commenters pointed out how common it is for “friends” to show up when there’s a party, free food, or social clout involved.

• Respect Goes Both Ways: Maya respected Jenna’s silence for a year. It wasn’t unreasonable for her to assume the friendship had ended.

One commenter wrote:
“You don’t owe someone access to one of the biggest days of your life just because they remembered you exist.”

Some Played Devil’s Advocate

While most supported Maya, a few people wondered if Jenna might’ve had a mental health struggle, personal issue, or emotional burnout that kept her away—and maybe she didn’t know how to explain it.

However, even those who sympathized with Jenna agreed that ghosting someone for a year comes with consequences.

The Bigger Picture: Weddings Test Relationships

Weddings often reveal the state of your real support system. They show you who’s been present, who’s invested, and who’s willing to stand beside you—not just during celebrations, but during the mundane and messy seasons too.

Maya’s story illustrates an important truth: just because someone was important to you doesn’t mean they still are. Relationships evolve, and that’s okay.

Inviting someone to your wedding isn’t just a courtesy—it’s a statement of who’s part of your future.

What Could Have Been Done Differently?

If You’re in Jenna’s Shoes:

• Don’t ghost people without communication—even if you’re struggling.

• If life pulls you away, be honest and transparent when you return.

• Don’t expect to resume the same level of access without rebuilding trust.

If You’re in Maya’s Shoes:

• It’s okay to set boundaries, even with old friends.

• A wedding guest list is a deeply personal decision—it doesn’t have to please everyone.

• You don’t have to feel guilty for protecting your peace.

Final Thoughts: When Absence Speaks Louder Than Words

This AITAH post taps into a universal tension: what do you owe to people who once mattered but chose not to stay present?

Friendship isn’t about grand gestures—it’s about consistent presence, especially during life’s quieter moments.

Maya wasn’t being cruel. She was being honest. And sometimes, honesty means letting go of what used to be.