AITAH for Not Giving Up My Dream Job to Move Closer to My Boyfriend?

When love and career collide, tough choices have to be made—but what if chasing your dreams means leaving someone behind? In today’s AITAH-inspired blog post, we explore a dilemma that’s got Reddit divided: Is it selfish to choose career over closeness in a relationship?

Let’s break down the scenario and see who’s really in the wrong—if anyone.

The Story: A Dream Job vs. a Long-Distance Relationship

The original poster (we’ll call her Mira) is a 26-year-old marketing professional who recently landed her dream job. After years of internships, freelancing, and grinding through underpaid roles, she was finally offered a high-level position with a major brand—an opportunity she says was “once in a lifetime.”

The catch? The job is in New York City.

Mira’s boyfriend of three years, Sam, lives in Chicago. They’ve been living together for the past year, and while their relationship has had ups and downs, Mira thought they were solid. That was, until she told Sam she planned to accept the offer and move.

Sam’s reaction shocked her.

The Ultimatum: “If You Go, We’re Done”

Sam didn’t just express disappointment—he issued a firm ultimatum: “If you take this job and leave, our relationship is over.”

He argued that relationships are built on sacrifice, and that if Mira truly cared about their future, she would prioritize them over her career. He reminded her of his own choices—turning down jobs to stay close to her—and said she owed it to him to do the same.

Mira, hurt but resolute, accepted the job anyway. Now she’s facing a tough question and turned to Reddit to ask:

AITAH for choosing my career over my relationship?

Reddit Responds: Career-Driven, Not Cold-Hearted

The Reddit community didn’t hold back—and most users came out firmly in support of Mira.

Why Mira’s Choice Makes Sense

• Timing and Opportunity: Career-defining opportunities don’t come often, and Mira worked hard to earn hers.

• Independence Matters: Many users pointed out that no one should be forced to choose between success and love.

• The Ultimatum Was the Real Red Flag: Most agreed that issuing an “if-you-go-we’re-over” threat showed emotional manipulation rather than genuine care.

“You didn’t leave him—he forced your hand,” one commenter wrote. “There’s a big difference between choosing your career and being punished for your ambition.”

The Other Side: Love Requires Sacrifice

Not everyone sided with Mira, though. Some commenters empathized with Sam’s feelings of abandonment.

Why Sam’s Feelings Are Valid Too

• Sudden Change: If there was no prior discussion of long-distance, the move may have come as a shock.

• Relationship Plans: Sam may have felt like they were building toward marriage or a family, and the move disrupted that.

• He Gave Up Things Too: If he had already made sacrifices for Mira, he may feel that she’s not reciprocating.

Still, most agreed that while Sam’s disappointment was understandable, giving someone an ultimatum is rarely productive or fair.

Compromise or Compatibility Issue?

This isn’t just a case of one decision—it’s a test of core values. Some couples thrive long-distance or eventually reunite in a new city. Others realize that their long-term goals don’t align.

In this case, Mira wants growth, challenge, and to build her career in a city that aligns with her aspirations. Sam wants stability and proximity. Neither is necessarily wrong—but they may not be compatible right now.

Lessons from the Drama

1. Relationships Can’t Thrive on Resentment

Had Mira stayed, there’s a good chance she would have grown resentful over time, knowing she gave up something huge. That kind of emotional toll can damage even the strongest partnerships.

2. Ambition Isn’t Selfish

Pursuing your goals doesn’t make you cold or unloving—it means you value yourself and your future. Anyone who can’t support that may not be the right partner.

3. Communication Is Everything

Big decisions like this shouldn’t come out of the blue. Mira and Sam might have benefited from deeper, more honest conversations about future plans well before this job offer came into play.

Final Verdict: Not the Villain

Mira wasn’t trying to hurt Sam. She was trying to do right by herself, and she communicated clearly. Sam’s ultimatum removed any chance for healthy compromise.

Reddit’s consensus? Not the ahole.