AITAH for Not Giving Up My Promotion to My Coworker Who Just Had a Baby?

Climbing the career ladder is hard enough without added pressure from coworkers or guilt-tripping from management. But what happens when your success clashes with someone else’s personal life? Today’s AITAH-inspired story dives into workplace tension, gender expectations, and whether ambition makes you the villain.

Let’s get into it.

The Dilemma: One Promotion, Two Candidates

Our storyteller—let’s call her Sara—is a 28-year-old marketing specialist who has worked at her company for four years. She recently applied for and was offered a major promotion to a team lead position. It was a big step forward in her career, and she was thrilled.

But then came the twist.

A day after accepting the offer, Sara’s coworker Jenna—who had returned from maternity leave just two weeks earlier—pulled her aside. Jenna congratulated her, but then asked something unexpected:

“Would you consider stepping aside so I can take the role instead?”

Jenna explained that she had been eyeing the same position before going on leave, and felt it was “only fair” she get the opportunity now that she was back. She said turning down Sara would show “solidarity with other women,” especially mothers, who often fall behind at work due to family responsibilities.

Sara was stunned.

The Response: “No, I Worked for This”

Sara politely declined. She explained that she had consistently outperformed goals, taken on extra responsibilities, and earned the promotion through her hard work—not by chance. She empathized with Jenna but didn’t feel it was fair to give up something she had earned.

Jenna was hurt—and quickly turned cold. She told mutual coworkers that Sara “lacked empathy” and was “one of those women who succeed by stepping on others.”

Now, Sara feels alienated in her own office. Some coworkers have distanced themselves, and others have suggested she should have been “more understanding.”

Wondering if she did the wrong thing, Sara turned to Reddit to ask: AITAH for not giving up my promotion to a coworker who just had a baby?

The Workplace Tightrope: Ambition vs. Empathy

Sara’s Perspective: Earned, Not Owed

From Sara’s view, the situation is clear: she worked hard, earned her role, and should not be asked to forfeit it just because someone else took a leave—regardless of the reason.

Workplace promotions should be merit-based, not influenced by guilt, emotions, or pressure to “do the right thing” socially.

And let’s not ignore the subtext: Would a man ever be asked to step aside like this?

Jenna’s Perspective: Systemic Inequity

On the flip side, Jenna’s request comes from a place of frustration with systemic bias. Women who take maternity leave often return to find they’ve missed out on promotions, leadership roles, or major projects.

She may have felt the company should have held the position or that another woman would understand the struggle.

While her emotions are valid, her method—asking Sara to sacrifice her achievement—places the burden of systemic failure on an individual, which many argue is unfair.

Reddit’s Verdict: A Resounding “Not the Villain”

Most Reddit users were firmly on Sara’s side.

“The promotion was open and you got it fairly. You’re not responsible for fixing workplace inequality by punishing yourself,” wrote one commenter.

Others pointed out that if Jenna believed the promotion process was flawed, her issue was with management—not Sara.

A few users sympathized with Jenna’s position but still agreed her approach was misplaced. “You don’t fix injustice by creating another one,” someone noted.

Gendered Expectations in the Workplace

This story taps into broader issues women face in professional settings, including:

• The motherhood penalty: Women often lose ground in their careers when they take maternity leave, leading to fewer promotions and lower pay.

• Double standards: Ambitious women are frequently labeled “cold” or “cutthroat,” while ambitious men are praised.

• Guilt-based expectations: Women are often expected to make sacrifices for others in the name of solidarity—even when it costs them.

Sara’s story highlights how workplace systems often put women in competition with each other, rather than addressing the root causes of inequality.

How Could This Be Handled Better?

By Jenna:

• Speak to HR or management about concerns regarding fairness after maternity leave.

• Build a case for promotion based on merit, not emotional appeals.

• Avoid personalizing systemic issues or blaming coworkers.

By Sara:

• Stay professional, but consider having an honest conversation to clear the air.

• Set boundaries while expressing understanding for her coworker’s frustration.

• Focus on continuing to prove her value in her new role.

By Management:

• Create transparent promotion policies.

• Offer return-to-work programs for new parents.

• Avoid making employees feel like they’re in competition for basic fairness.

The Bottom Line: Protecting Your Progress Isn’t Selfish

Sara’s choice to keep her promotion doesn’t make her the villain—it makes her human. It’s not her job to solve workplace inequality by stepping down. True support for working moms should come from structural change, not personal sacrifice.

Setting boundaries doesn’t mean lacking empathy. And ambition isn’t a betrayal of solidarity—it’s survival.