AITAH for Not Giving Up My Promotion to Save My Best Friend’s Job?

Promotions are usually a cause for celebration—recognition of hard work, dedication, and ambition. But what happens when that promotion comes at a cost to someone you care about? Today’s AITAH-inspired story explores a moral dilemma wrapped in loyalty, ambition, and workplace politics.

Let’s break it down.

The Background: Climbing the Ladder

The story begins with a 28-year-old professional—let’s call him Arjun—who recently received the opportunity of a lifetime: a promotion to team lead at his tech company. Arjun had been working at the company for four years, often staying late, taking on difficult projects, and mentoring junior staff. He was widely regarded as a team player.

One of those junior staffers? His best friend, Ravi.

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Then came the shock: Arjun’s promotion would mean Ravi getting laid off.

The Twist: A Promotion With Strings Attached

The department was undergoing restructuring. Arjun was offered the team lead role, but part of the restructure meant downsizing. With only one lead and fewer junior roles needed, Ravi’s position would be cut.

HR presented it clearly: if Arjun declined the promotion, they’d delay restructuring and potentially keep Ravi on temporarily. If he accepted, the team would shrink—and Ravi would be the first to go.

Arjun accepted the promotion.

The Fallout: “You Sold Me Out”

 

Ravi didn’t take the news well. He accused Arjun of being selfish, claiming he “chose a title over their friendship.” He pointed out that Arjun knew the outcome, and still took the job.

“You could have waited,” Ravi said. “You knew what this would do to me.”

Arjun felt conflicted. He had worked hard and earned the role. Declining it wouldn’t have saved Ravi long-term—it would only delay the inevitable. The company had made it clear Ravi’s performance was under scrutiny.

Still, he couldn’t shake the guilt.

So he turned to Reddit’s r/AITAH to ask: Am I the villain for accepting a promotion that cost my best friend his job?

Evaluating the Dilemma: Loyalty vs. Career Growth

Why Arjun May Be Justified

Arjun did what many professionals would: he took a role that recognized years of hard work. His company made the final decision about layoffs—he didn’t choose who would go.

Furthermore, Ravi’s track record at work was shaky. Arjun’s promotion didn’t cause Ravi to be let go—it merely accelerated an outcome that seemed likely based on past warnings and underperformance.

Would sacrificing his own progress have saved Ravi? Maybe temporarily. But it also might’ve led to Arjun being passed over again in the future.

Why Ravi Might Feel Betrayed

From Ravi’s perspective, it feels personal. A close friend knew the consequences and still moved forward. That can feel like betrayal—even if it wasn’t intended that way.

It’s a difficult pill to swallow, especially in a competitive job market. Being laid off by your company hurts. Being laid off because your best friend got a promotion cuts deeper.

What Reddit Said

Reddit was quick to weigh in—and opinions were passionate.

Top-voted comment:
“You’re not the villain. You didn’t fire your friend, the company did. You earned that role, and it’s not your job to tank your own future because someone else didn’t meet expectations.”

Another user added:
“This is a hard truth, but friendships and careers don’t always align. If the roles were reversed, would Ravi have done the same for you?”

However, some users emphasized the human side:
“Couldn’t you have talked to him first? Given him a heads up or helped him prepare for the job search?”

In the end, most agreed: Arjun wasn’t the villain—but how he handled the communication could’ve been better.

Lessons in Professional Boundaries

1. It’s Not Your Job to Carry Others

We all want to lift up our friends—but not at the cost of our own progress. Loyalty has limits, especially in a corporate environment where decisions are often beyond our control.

2. Communication Is Key

If Arjun had been transparent with Ravi earlier—maybe even before accepting the role—the fallout might’ve been less explosive. People feel more hurt when they’re blindsided.

3. Friendships and Work Rarely Mix Perfectly

When friendships overlap with hierarchy, promotions, and power dynamics, tension is almost inevitable. Setting clear boundaries early on can prevent deeper rifts later.

What Could Arjun Have Done Differently?

• Had a private, honest conversation with Ravi before accepting the promotion.

• Offered support post-layoff—help with the resume, job referrals, or recommendations.

• Acknowledged the emotional impact of the decision without getting defensive.

While Arjun’s decision wasn’t wrong, a little more empathy might have helped preserve the friendship.

Final Verdict: Not the Villain—But Not Perfect Either

Arjun wasn’t wrong to accept the promotion. He didn’t cause Ravi’s layoff—he simply chose not to delay it for the sake of a friendship that might not have been sustainable in the workplace anyway.

But emotional intelligence matters. Sometimes doing the right thing still hurts someone—and how you handle that fallout makes all the difference.