AITAH for Not Letting My Best Friend Propose at My Wedding?

Weddings are sacred for many couples—a day carefully crafted to reflect their love, story, and personal vision. But what happens when someone tries to hijack that spotlight? In this AITAH-inspired drama, one bride says absolutely not to a surprise proposal at her own wedding… and it’s got the internet in an uproar.

The Story: A Dream Wedding—and an Unexpected Request

Let’s call her Sara. She’s a 27-year-old bride who spent over a year planning her wedding down to the smallest detail. She and her now-husband paid for everything themselves, hosted 150 guests, and wanted their day to be completely about them.

A few weeks before the wedding, Sara’s best friend—let’s call him Ryan—approached her with an “amazing idea.”

He wanted to propose to his girlfriend during the wedding reception.

According to Ryan, it would be “the perfect moment.” The setting would be romantic, the people would already be in a celebratory mood, and there’d be a photographer and videographer to capture it all.

Sara was stunned. She told him gently, but firmly: no.

The Fallout: A Friendship on the Edge

Ryan didn’t take it well.

He called Sara selfish. He said real friends would be excited to help celebrate another love story. He insisted he’d keep it low-key—just a sweet toast and a ring, no big deal.

But to Sara, that was missing the point.

“This is the one day that’s supposed to be about me and my partner,” she wrote in her Reddit post. “We planned and paid for every part of it. I’m not okay with someone else making it about them, even if they’re my best friend.”

Ryan accused her of being cold and controlling. Sara started second-guessing herself—and turned to Reddit for judgment: AITAH for not letting my best friend propose at my wedding?

The Arguments: Is It Just a Proposal or a Total Hijack?

In Defense of Sara: Boundaries and Respect

Most people don’t get many chances to celebrate major life events—so when you do, it’s fair to expect the focus to stay on you.

Sara’s not banning love. She’s not against proposals. She just doesn’t want her carefully planned wedding turned into a two-in-one event.

The biggest issue isn’t what Ryan wanted to do—it’s where and when he wanted to do it.

A wedding is not open mic night. It’s not a venue for surprise announcements unless they’re approved by the couple.

By saying “no,” Sara wasn’t being a bad friend—she was protecting her experience and her memories.

Ryan’s Perspective: A “Magical” Opportunity

Some argue that Ryan’s intentions were good. He saw a beautiful setting, a moment of joy, and wanted to add another layer of love to it.

And in a world where public proposals happen at concerts, sporting events, and flash mobs, what’s one more shared moment?

In Ryan’s mind, it was romantic, memorable, and even flattering to Sara—that her wedding could be the backdrop to another love story.

Reddit Reacts: An Overwhelming Verdict

Reddit users came out in full force to support Sara.

“It’s YOUR wedding. Not a prop for someone else’s engagement.” one top commenter wrote.

Another chimed in: “Hijacking a wedding for a proposal is tacky, plain and simple.”

A few users mentioned stories where surprise proposals led to lifelong resentment, awkward photos, and even ruined friendships.

However, a small number of commenters suggested Sara could have compromised—maybe allowing Ryan to propose at the after-party or the next day during brunch.

Still, the overwhelming response? Sara is not the villain.

The Etiquette of Proposals at Weddings

Here’s the bottom line: proposing at someone else’s wedding is risky. Unless:

• The couple getting married explicitly agrees and supports it

• The proposal doesn’t disrupt the event

• It doesn’t draw focus from the people being celebrated

Otherwise, it’s likely to come off as inconsiderate—or even narcissistic.

Weddings are expensive, emotionally charged, and once-in-a-lifetime for many people. Turning that into someone else’s moment—even briefly—can create a ripple effect of hurt feelings.

What Could Have Been Done Differently?

For Sara:

• She handled the situation respectfully.

• She communicated her boundaries clearly and kindly.

• She could have offered an alternate time/place (optional).

For Ryan:

• He should have asked before planning the proposal.

• He should have respected the answer without trying to guilt-trip her.

• He could have created his own special moment, not borrowed someone else’s.

The Bigger Lesson: Celebrating Without Overshadowing

Celebrations don’t need to be competitive. There’s enough joy to go around—but the timing matters.

You can honor your friends without taking their spotlight.

Being a good guest means understanding that the day isn’t about you. It’s about showing up, celebrating fully, and letting the couple shine.