AITAH for Not Letting My Best Friend Propose at My Wedding?

Weddings are one of life’s biggest moments—emotional, personal, and planned down to the smallest detail. But what happens when someone tries to hijack your spotlight for their own surprise proposal?

In today’s AITAH-inspired blog post, we explore the tricky ethics of shared milestones, and whether saying “no” makes you selfish—or simply self-respecting.

The Story: A Wedding, a Plan, and a Surprise Twist

A 27-year-old bride—let’s call her Sara—shared on Reddit’s r/AITAH community about a recent confrontation with her best friend, Lily.

Sara and Lily have been close for nearly a decade. Lily was Sara’s maid of honor, involved in every detail of the wedding planning. But one week before the big day, Lily asked Sara a favor that caught her completely off guard:

She wanted to propose to her boyfriend during the wedding reception.

Not just propose—she wanted to do it during the couple’s first dance by interrupting it with a microphone.

Sara was stunned. She politely said no. This was her and her fiancé’s big moment, and she didn’t want it overshadowed. She suggested Lily plan something special for another day.

Lily didn’t take it well.

The Fallout: Accusations and Cold Shoulders

After being told no, Lily accused Sara of being selfish, insecure, and unsupportive. She said Sara should feel “honored” that Lily wanted to share such a special moment at her wedding.

Lily even went as far as telling other bridesmaids that Sara was “obsessed with attention” and “making everything about herself.”

Sara stuck to her boundary, and Lily ultimately attended the wedding—cold, distant, and making it obvious she was upset.

Now Sara’s wondering: Was I the villain for saying no to my best friend’s proposal plans at my wedding?

Public Opinion: Reddit Has Thoughts

Reddit users did not hold back. The overwhelming majority sided with Sara, calling her response not only justified but necessary.

Top comments included:

• “Your wedding is not a stage for someone else’s love story.”

• “You didn’t say no to love. You said no to being overshadowed.”

• “Hijacking a first dance is disrespectful, no matter how close you are.”

Many pointed out that while proposals can be sweet, they should never come at the expense of someone else’s moment—especially not one they spent months (and thousands of dollars) planning.

Let’s Break It Down: The Etiquette of Proposals at Events

Why It Feels Wrong

Weddings are once-in-a-lifetime events. They’re planned meticulously, with a clear focus on the couple getting married. When someone proposes at a wedding, they shift that focus—even if unintentionally.

It can:

• Steal attention during a key moment.

• Create confusion among guests.

• Turn the emotional tone from celebration to distraction.

Are There Ever Exceptions?

Yes—but only with explicit, enthusiastic permission from the couple. Even then, timing matters. A proposal at the afterparty or during a more casual post-wedding event might be more appropriate.

Even then, there should be zero assumption. No one is entitled to make someone else’s wedding their personal proposal venue.

Friendship, Boundaries, and Respect

What hurts most about Sara’s story isn’t just the proposal—it’s the fallout with Lily. A best friend should understand boundaries. A best friend should recognize that someone else’s joy doesn’t diminish their own.

Instead of respecting Sara’s “no,” Lily made it about her.

This wasn’t just a misunderstanding. It was a moment where respect and empathy could have strengthened the friendship—but didn’t.

The Verdict: Not the Villain

Sara isn’t the villain here. She didn’t shame Lily or ban her from proposing forever. She simply asked for her own wedding day to stay centered around her and her partner.

And that’s not selfish. That’s fair.

The Bigger Question: Why Do We Struggle with Other People’s Boundaries?

This story hits a nerve because many people find it hard to say “no” without guilt—and others find it hard to hear “no” without offense.

Whether it’s weddings, birthdays, or life milestones, knowing when and where our story ends and someone else’s begins is crucial to healthy relationships.