AITAH for Not Letting My Best Friend’s Girlfriend Come on Our Annual Guys’ Trip?

Every friend group has traditions—but what happens when a new relationship threatens to shake things up? In today’s story from the AITAH community, a guy’s decision to exclude someone from a long-standing trip ends in accusations, ultimatums, and a fractured friendship.

Let’s dive into what happened and figure out who, if anyone, is really in the wrong.

The Background: A Tradition Years in the Making

The original poster (let’s call him Sam) is a 28-year-old man who has been going on a “guys-only” trip with his core group of four friends for the past six years. It’s a sacred tradition—each year they pick a different destination, disconnect from responsibilities, and just enjoy each other’s company with no distractions.

This year, they planned a cabin getaway in the mountains. Everything was booked and agreed upon months in advance.

Then came the surprise.

The Curveball: A New Plus-One

A week before the trip, one of Sam’s best friends, Jake, dropped a bombshell: he wanted to bring his new girlfriend, Mia.

Jake and Mia had been dating for about five months. According to Sam, she’s nice but doesn’t really “click” with the group. More importantly, she’s never been part of their annual tradition—and the trip has always been explicitly for the original crew.

Sam gently told Jake that the trip was still meant to be guys-only and that bringing Mia would change the dynamic. He even suggested they plan another trip soon where everyone—including partners—could be invited.

Jake didn’t take it well.

The Fallout: Friendship on the Line

Jake accused Sam of being exclusionary and disrespectful. He claimed that if Mia wasn’t welcome, then he wasn’t coming either. He also hinted that maybe the group needed to “grow up” and stop clinging to “childish boys’ club rules.”

Sam stood firm. The other two friends agreed with him and expressed concern that if they made an exception once, the whole tradition would lose its meaning.

Jake ended up backing out of the trip—and hasn’t spoken to Sam since.

Now Sam is wondering: AITAH for not allowing my best friend’s girlfriend to join our guys’ trip?

The Arguments: Friendship vs. Boundaries

Why Sam Might Be in the Right

Many commenters on Reddit sided with Sam. A long-standing tradition deserves respect, especially when expectations have been clear from the start. Bringing a significant other to a “guys-only” trip without group consensus is inconsiderate.

This wasn’t about disliking Mia—it was about preserving a rare space for friendship and connection. Everyone needs time to unplug, especially from the pressures and dynamics that come with romantic relationships.

Sam also offered an alternative that included Mia in the future—he wasn’t trying to be controlling or hurtful.Why Jake Might Feel Betrayed

From Jake’s perspective, it may have felt like a lack of support. He’s in a new relationship and likely wanted to share a meaningful part of his life with his partner. He might’ve viewed the trip as more about “friends hanging out” than a rigid rule-bound ritual.

If Mia had nowhere else to go that weekend or Jake felt he was being forced to choose between her and his friends, the situation could feel deeply personal.

His reaction, though dramatic, may stem from hurt—not entitlement.

Reddit Reacts: Tradition Trumps Spontaneity

Reddit’s AITAH community, known for its brutally honest takes, largely declared Sam not the villain.

Comments like:

“You’re not punishing Jake—you’re preserving something meaningful.”
“Boundaries exist for a reason. This wasn’t the trip to test new group dynamics.”

Some users noted that Jake could have brought up the idea of inviting Mia before everything was booked, instead of blindsiding the group a week prior.

Still, a few users warned Sam to tread carefully: “If the friendship is important, maybe find a way to reconnect. People change, and relationships evolve.”

What This Story Teaches Us About Group Traditions

Friend groups, especially long-standing ones, often have rituals that feel sacred. These traditions serve a purpose: they offer consistency, familiarity, and a way to maintain bonds over time.

But what happens when life changes—people get into relationships, move away, or shift priorities?

Here’s the balance:

• Respecting tradition doesn’t mean excluding progress.

• Introducing change shouldn’t come at the expense of others’ comfort.

Jake may not be wrong for wanting to include Mia—but he was wrong in how he handled it. Sam may not be wrong for saying no—but he should also prepare for the idea that friendships evolve, and traditions may eventually need to adapt.

What Should Sam Do Next?

If the friendship with Jake is worth preserving, a few thoughtful actions could help:

• Reach out with empathy—not apology. Reinforce that this wasn’t about Mia, but about maintaining group boundaries.

• Offer to plan a couples trip soon where everyone can bond.

• Leave the door open for Jake to return, without guilt or pressure.

As for the original guys’ trip? It went on as planned—and according to Sam, it was much needed.