AITAH For Not Letting My Colleague Use My Car

Let me start by saying I’ve always considered myself a team player at work. I cover shifts when needed, bring donuts on Fridays, and even helped reorganize the supply closet last month. But when my colleague asked to borrow my car last week, I said no. Now half the office is calling me selfish, and I’m starting to wonder: AITAH for setting this boundary?

The Backstory First

I’ve worked with “Jen” (not her real name) for about two years. We’re friendly but not close friends outside work. My car is a 2020 Honda Civic that I bought brand new after saving for years. I’m still making payments on it, and honestly, I baby that car like it’s my firstborn.

Last Thursday, Jen came to my desk looking frantic. Her car was in the shop, and she needed to pick up her son from daycare across town during lunch. She asked if she could borrow my car “just for an hour.” Here’s why I hesitated:

• Our insurance explicitly excludes non-family drivers
• Jen has two at-fault accidents on her record (office gossip)
• I had an important client meeting right after lunch

How I Said No

I tried to be diplomatic: “I’m so sorry, Jen, but my insurance won’t cover other drivers. Maybe we can find another solution?” I even offered to help call a rideshare or see if another coworker could give her a lift.

Jen’s face fell. “Come on, just this once? I’ll be super careful.” When I stood firm, she walked away without another word. I thought that was the end of it until…

The Office Fallout

By Friday, I noticed some coworkers giving me side-eye. At coffee break, I overheard Jen telling our team: “I guess some people just don’t understand what teamwork means.” Later, our office manager pulled me aside to “remind me” about our company’s “collaborative culture.”

Here’s what’s bothering me:

• No one asked why I said no
• Jen never mentioned her poor driving history
• Three other people have cars but weren’t approached

My Legal Concerns

After the incident, I actually called my insurance agent. She confirmed my fears: If Jen had gotten into an accident, I would have been 100% liable. Even if Jen offered to pay damages, my premiums would skyrocket. In our state, the car owner is responsible regardless of who’s driving.

Worse yet, if there had been injuries, I could have faced lawsuits exceeding my policy limits. When I shared this info with HR on Monday, they suddenly became much more understanding.

Double Standards Exposed

What really stings is the hypocrisy. Last month when the intern asked to borrow someone’s laptop charger, everyone said no because “you shouldn’t mix electronics.” When Mark needed a ride to the train station in the rain, three people turned him down. But suddenly I’m the office villain?

I’ve noticed this pattern before:

• Women are expected to be endlessly accommodating
• Personal boundaries are labeled as “not being a team player”
• No one keeps that same energy when men set limits

Where We Stand Now

After HR clarified policies about personal property at work, things have quieted down. Jen still doesn’t talk to me much, but honestly? That might be for the best. I’ve started parking farther away so my car isn’t the first one people see.

The experience taught me three things:

1. Boundaries aren’t selfish – They’re responsible
2. Office politics reveal true colors – Not always pretty
3. Insurance knowledge is power – Read your policy!

Your Verdict Please

So tell me honestly – was I really the a**hole here? Should I have risked my insurance and financial stability to avoid office drama? Would you have handled it differently?

Drop your thoughts in the comments below. And if you’ve faced similar pressure at work, share how you handled it. Maybe together we can normalize saying no without guilt.

P.S. If you found this post relatable, share it with that one coworker who always “forgets” their lunch money. You know who I mean.