AITAH for Not Paying for My Brother’s Wedding After He Refused to Attend Mine?

Weddings often reveal the deepest cracks in family relationships. In this week’s AITAH-inspired drama, one user’s story about refusing to fund their brother’s big day after being snubbed at their own wedding raises a burning question: Is financial revenge ever justified—or is it just plain petty?

Let’s dive into this viral scenario that’s got everyone talking.

Family Ties, Wedding Lies

Our storyteller—let’s call him Arjun—is a 35-year-old man who recently got married in a modest but heartfelt ceremony. He and his now-wife chose a small, intimate event, which included close friends and family. Arjun’s brother, Raj, didn’t show up.

No call. No explanation. Just a sudden change of heart, despite RSVPing “yes.”

Fast forward a year, and Raj is engaged. The twist? He asks Arjun if he would be willing to pay for the wedding. Not help—fully pay. Raj and his fiancée are short on funds and figured Arjun, now “settled,” could afford to help.

Arjun refused.

The Fallout: “You’re Letting Money Come Between Us”

When Arjun told Raj that he wouldn’t be contributing financially, Raj exploded. He accused Arjun of being vindictive and holding a grudge.

Their parents took Raj’s side, claiming Arjun should “be the bigger person” and support family. They pointed out that Arjun had a good job, no kids, and could easily spare the money.

But Arjun stood firm. To him, it wasn’t about the money—it was about the principle.

The Dilemma: Is Refusing Help Revenge or Fairness?

Why Arjun Might Not Be the Villain

Let’s be honest—weddings are expensive. Asking someone to fully fund your wedding is a big ask, especially when you bailed on theirs with no explanation. Arjun didn’t even receive an apology, let alone a reason.

More importantly, support should be mutual. If Raj couldn’t show up for his brother’s most important day, why should Arjun feel obligated to invest in his?

Financial support isn’t just about ability—it’s about willingness and trust. Raj broke that.

Why Some Say Arjun Might Be Overreacting

There’s an argument to be made that weddings should be about love and family—not tit-for-tat behavior. Arjun’s decision, while understandable, could be seen as holding a grudge. Family dynamics are rarely balanced, and sometimes, life circumstances get in the way.

Some Reddit users wondered if Arjun ever had a direct conversation with Raj about why he skipped the wedding. Could there be more beneath the surface?

Still, even those sympathetic to Raj admitted: expecting someone to bankroll your wedding after ghosting theirs is a bold move.

Reddit Reacts: “Absolutely NTA”

The r/AITAH community didn’t hold back. The top-voted comments almost unanimously declared Arjun Not The A.

Here’s what users had to say:

• “You owe him nothing. You’re not a villain for expecting respect before generosity.”

• “He skipped your wedding and now wants a handout? That’s not family, that’s entitlement.”

• “You’re allowed to say no. Especially when someone doesn’t show up for you.”

A few users encouraged Arjun to have a mature conversation with Raj—if only for closure. But most agreed that money shouldn’t be given out of guilt or pressure.

Family Obligations vs. Boundaries

This situation highlights a common modern-day conflict: where do you draw the line between family duty and personal boundaries?

In many cultures, there’s an expectation that siblings look out for each other. But does that mean unconditional support—even for those who don’t show up for you?

It’s okay to help family. But it’s also okay to protect your peace and financial well-being. Respect should go both ways.

What Should Arjun Do?

Option 1: Have the Conversation

Before writing his brother off completely, Arjun could talk to Raj about why he missed the wedding. If there’s a real reason—mental health, conflict, or something personal—it might change the dynamic.

Option 2: Offer Partial Help (With Strings Attached)

If Arjun wants to maintain family peace but still set boundaries, he could offer a partial loan or specific support—like paying for catering or suits—but with clear expectations and limits.

Option 3: Stand Firm

If Raj’s attitude hasn’t changed and the family is piling on guilt without accountability, Arjun has every right to say no and walk away from the drama.

The Verdict: Not All Help Is Deserved

Supporting family is noble—but it’s not a blank check. Arjun isn’t a villain for saying no to someone who showed no respect for his life’s biggest moment.

Boundaries matter. And if someone only sees you as a wallet, not a brother, maybe it’s time to reevaluate that relationship.