AITAH for Not Wanting to Give My College Fund to My Younger Sibling?
Let’s be real—money and family don’t always mix well. When my parents suggested I hand over my college fund to my younger sibling, I froze. Was I being selfish, or was this a reasonable boundary? If you’ve ever faced a similar dilemma, buckle up. We’re diving deep into the ethics, emotions, and financial realities of this loaded question.
The Backstory Behind My Fund
My college fund wasn’t just handed to me—it was built over years of sacrifices. My grandparents started it when I was born, and my parents contributed monthly. I even skipped vacations and worked part-time in high school to add to it. The understanding was always clear: this money was for my education.
Fast-forward to last month. My younger sibling, who’s 16, decided college “isn’t their thing.” They want to pursue a trade instead (which is totally valid!). But here’s the twist: my parents now want me to redirect my fund to cover their vocational school and living expenses. Their argument? “You got a full scholarship, so you don’t need it.”
Why I Hesitated
On the surface, it sounds logical—why let money sit idle? But here’s why I pushed back:
1. The Scholarship Isn’t Guaranteed Forever. What if I lose it due to illness or academic struggles? That fund is my safety net.
2. It Sets a Precedent. If I give in now, will future bonuses or inheritances also be “shared” unfairly?
3. My Sibling Has Options. Trade schools often cost less than universities, and apprenticeships pay them to learn. Why drain my fund when alternatives exist?
Family Reactions and Guilt
When I said no, the guilt-tripping began. My mom cried about “sibling loyalty,” and my dad called me “ungrateful.” Even my aunt texted: “Family comes first.” But here’s the thing—I never agreed to be my sibling’s financial backup plan.
Worse? My sibling accused me of “hoarding” money I “didn’t earn.” That stung. The fund was a gift, yes, but one with a specific purpose. If we’re talking fairness, shouldn’t they contribute to their own path like I did?
The Financial Fairness Debate
This isn’t just about feelings—it’s about numbers. Let’s break it down:
• My Scholarship Covers Tuition Only. The fund was meant for housing, books, and emergencies. Giving it away could force me into debt.
• Trade School Costs Less. The average trade program costs $33,000 total—way less than a 4-year degree. Why empty a $60k fund for that?
• Opportunity Cost. That money could also help me with grad school or a down payment later. Is it wrong to prioritize my future?
Am I Really the AH?
According to Reddit’s AITAH community, it’s a split verdict. Some say:
“NTA. Your sibling’s choices shouldn’t penalize you.”
Others argue:
“YTA. Help your family when you can.”
But the most insightful comment? “It’s not about the money—it’s about respect for boundaries.” My fund was earmarked for me, just like my sibling’s future earnings are theirs. Redistributing it without my consent feels like a violation.
How We Compromised
After weeks of tension, we reached a middle ground:
1. Partial Support. I agreed to cover 20% of my sibling’s tools/equipment (about $3k) as a gift—not an obligation.
2. Transparency. My parents admitted they hadn’t saved separately for my sibling, which was their oversight, not my fault.
3. Future Planning. We’re meeting with a financial advisor to create a fair plan for both of us moving forward.
Your Turn: Weigh In
So, AITAH? I’m still torn. Money reveals family dynamics we’d rather ignore, but boundaries matter. If you’ve faced something similar, how did you handle it? Drop your stories below—let’s normalize these tough conversations.
P.S. Sharing isn’t always caring. Sometimes, it’s okay to put your future first.
