AITAH for Not Wanting to Include My Partner’s Child in “Adults-Only” Weekend Plans?
When you’re dating someone with a child, balancing the relationship and parenting dynamics can be tricky. But what happens when you need a break from parenting altogether—and your partner disagrees? One recent AITAH scenario stirred up controversy after the poster asked: Am I the bad person for wanting a weekend with just my partner, without their child?
It’s a complicated question that touches on boundaries, blended families, and what it means to have a relationship that includes kids—when you’re not their parent.
The Situation: When “Adults Only” Feels Personal
The original poster (OP) explained that after several exhausting months of helping raise their partner’s 7-year-old child—school runs, bedtime routines, weekend outings—they planned a relaxing cabin getaway. It was supposed to be just the two of them.
But when they brought it up, the partner assumed the child would be coming too. When OP clarified it was meant to be an adults-only trip, the partner grew cold, saying it felt like OP was rejecting part of their family.
OP argued that they needed a break to reconnect, not from the child personally, but from constant responsibility. Still, the partner accused OP of being unfair and treating the child like a burden.
Why It’s Not Always About the Kid
A key theme in this situation is often misunderstood: wanting alone time doesn’t mean you dislike the child. It means you’re human, and like any adult, you sometimes need:
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Quality time with your partner without parental responsibilities
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Mental and emotional rest, especially if you’re not used to full-time caretaking
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Time to reset boundaries, especially in newer or blended relationships
In fact, asking for this space can be a sign of maturity. It shows you’re trying to preserve the health of the relationship instead of letting quiet resentment build.
When Boundaries Clash with Family Expectations
The biggest tension here lies in the different expectations between OP and their partner. For the parent, the child is part of every plan—naturally. But for someone stepping into a parenting role, there’s often a slower adjustment curve.
So what happens when those expectations don’t align?
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One partner may feel rejected if their child isn’t included in “fun” plans
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The other may feel overwhelmed if every plan becomes family-centered
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Both may feel misunderstood, leading to resentment if communication breaks down
In this scenario, OP’s failure wasn’t in wanting alone time—it may have been in how the conversation was framed. Boundaries are crucial, but so is empathy.
Tips for Navigating Blended Relationship Boundaries
If you find yourself in a similar situation, here are some helpful ways to set boundaries while staying compassionate:
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Be proactive – Talk about expectations before planning trips or major events
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Acknowledge emotions – Let your partner know you value their child and your alone time
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Propose balance – Alternate weekends or schedule both family and couple time
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Avoid absolutes – Instead of “I don’t want your kid there,” say “I’d love some time just the two of us this weekend—can we plan something for all of us next time?”
These strategies help ensure your partner doesn’t feel like they’re being asked to choose between you and their child.
The Internet Weighs In
As usual, the AITAH community was divided. Many commenters supported OP, saying adults need space and connection outside of parenting. Others pointed out that when you date someone with a child, you’re agreeing to a package deal—and kids don’t just go “on pause.”
Still, the consensus was clear: OP’s desire wasn’t inherently wrong, but the delivery could make all the difference in how it’s received.
Final Thoughts: Self-Care or Selfish?
So, AITAH for wanting a weekend with just your partner?
Not necessarily.
It’s okay to want balance. It’s okay to ask for space. And it’s okay to need time to reconnect without always stepping into the “parental” role—especially if it wasn’t something you originally signed up for.
What matters most is how you communicate that need—and whether your partner can hear it without taking it personally.
