AITAH for Refusing to Babysit My Sister’s Kids After She Called Me Selfish?

Family dynamics can be tricky, especially when boundaries are tested. Recently, I found myself in a heated argument with my sister after refusing to babysit her three kids for the third weekend in a row. She called me selfish and accused me of not caring about family. Now, I’m left wondering—was I the one in the wrong? Let’s break down the situation and see if I’m the asshole here.

Setting the Scene

My sister, Lisa, is a single mom with three kids under the age of seven. She works long hours, and I’ve always tried to help when I can. But lately, she’s been asking me to babysit almost every weekend, often with little notice. Last month, I agreed twice, even though I had plans of my own. This time, I said no—I had a much-needed trip planned with friends. That’s when she blew up, saying I was being selfish and that family should always come first.

My Side of the Story

I love my nieces and nephews, but I also have my own life. Between work and personal commitments, I barely get time to relax. This trip was something I’d been looking forward to for months. When I explained this to Lisa, she accused me of not understanding how hard her life is. I get that she’s struggling, but does that mean I should always drop everything for her? I’ve helped her countless times before, but this felt like she was taking advantage of me.

Her Reaction

Lisa didn’t take my refusal well. She called me selfish in front of the kids and said I was letting the family down. She even brought up past favors, saying I owed her for all the times she helped me. The guilt trip was intense, and it made me question myself. Was I really being unreasonable? Or was she crossing a line by expecting too much?

Boundaries or Selfishness?

This isn’t the first time Lisa has reacted this way when I set boundaries. Last year, I couldn’t lend her money, and she gave me the silent treatment for weeks. I’ve always been there when she’s in a real crisis, but constant demands feel different. Am I wrong for wanting to prioritize my own needs sometimes? Or is this just what family does—sacrifice without question?

Outside Perspectives

I talked to a few close friends about it, and they were split. Some said family should always come first, especially since she’s a single mom. Others argued that Lisa was being manipulative and that I had every right to say no. One friend pointed out that if I keep giving in, Lisa will never learn to find other solutions. It’s left me even more confused—where’s the line between being supportive and being a doormat?

Final Thoughts

After reflecting, I don’t think I’m the asshole here. I’ve helped Lisa plenty, but that doesn’t mean she’s entitled to my time whenever she wants it. Setting boundaries is healthy, even with family. That said, I do feel guilty—maybe I could’ve handled it better or offered an alternative. But at the end of the day, I shouldn’t have to justify needing time for myself.

What do you think? Was I wrong to refuse, or was Lisa out of line? Have you ever been in a similar situation with family? Share your thoughts in the comments—I’d love to hear your take on this!