AITAH for Refusing to Babysit My Sister’s Kids After She Canceled Last Minute?

Family dynamics can be tricky, especially when boundaries are tested. Recently, I found myself in a heated argument with my sister after I refused to babysit her kids—again—when she canceled our plans last minute. Now, I’m left wondering: AITAH for standing my ground, or was I justified in saying no? Let’s break down the situation and see what the internet thinks.

The Last-Minute Cancellation

It all started when my sister, Lisa, asked me to watch her two kids (ages 4 and 6) so she could attend a work event. I agreed, even though I had plans to meet friends for dinner. The night before, she texted me: “Never mind, my husband can watch them. We’re good!” I was annoyed but shrugged it off—until the next week, when she asked me to babysit again. This time, she canceled two hours before I was supposed to arrive, saying her meeting was postponed. I was already dressed and ready to go.

Setting Boundaries

After the second cancellation, I told Lisa I wouldn’t babysit unless she committed to the plan. She called me selfish, saying family should help each other no matter what. But here’s the thing: I’ve dropped everything for her before—only for her to change plans last minute. It wasn’t just about the wasted time; it was the lack of respect for mine. Was I wrong for setting this boundary?

The Blow-Up Argument

When Lisa asked a third time, I said no outright. She exploded, accusing me of not caring about her kids. I reminded her of the last two times she flaked, but she insisted emergencies happen. My stance? If it’s truly an emergency, of course I’d help. But canceling because something “better” came up? That’s not an emergency—it’s poor planning.

Family vs. Respect

Lisa’s argument boiled down to “family comes first,” but I believe respect is a two-way street. If she can’t value my time, why should I rearrange my life for hers? My friends agreed with me, but our parents took her side, saying I should be more flexible. That left me torn: Is family obligation unconditional, or do my boundaries matter too?

Reddit’s Verdict

I posted this on r/AITAH, and the responses were overwhelmingly in my favor. Most commenters said Lisa was taking advantage of me and that last-minute cancellations without a real emergency were disrespectful. One user wrote, “Helping family doesn’t mean being a doormat.” Another pointed out that if Lisa’s husband could watch the kids, why ask me in the first place?

Moving Forward

After reading the comments, I talked to Lisa again. This time, I explained how her cancellations made me feel—like a backup plan, not a sister. She apologized and admitted she hadn’t realized how often she’d done it. We agreed that from now on, she’d only ask if she was sure, and I’d be more upfront about my availability. Communication, it turns out, was the real issue.

So, AITAH? Maybe not—but the real win was fixing the problem instead of just arguing about it. Have you ever been in a similar situation? Share your stories in the comments!