AITAH for Refusing to Let My Best Friend Propose at My Wedding?

Weddings are a celebration of love—but what happens when someone tries to make your special day their special moment? In this AITAH scenario, we explore a dramatic fallout between lifelong friends, all over a proposal plan that didn’t go as expected.

Here’s what went down—and why it has Reddit in an uproar.

The Story: A Wedding Hijacked?

The original poster (let’s call her Sara), a 27-year-old bride, took to Reddit’s r/AITAH community to ask for judgment. A few weeks before her wedding, her best friend of 15 years—Rachel—asked her for a “huge favor.”

Rachel wanted to propose to her boyfriend during Sara’s wedding reception.

Sara was stunned. She loved Rachel and was thrilled that she was ready to take the next step, but the idea of a proposal happening during her reception felt… off.

“I told her no,” Sara wrote. “I said I want the focus to be on me and my husband. We only get one wedding day.”

Rachel didn’t take it well.

The Fallout: From Maid of Honor to Major Drama

Rachel was furious. She accused Sara of being selfish and unsupportive. She reminded her that she had always been there for her—through breakups, family problems, and wedding planning chaos.

Rachel said she thought a wedding was the perfect place for a proposal and insisted it would “make the night even more special.”

After Sara held her ground, Rachel threatened to drop out as maid of honor. She later showed up to the wedding—but cold and distant. A few guests noticed the tension.

Now Sara is wondering: AITAH for not letting my best friend propose at my wedding?

The Core Issue: Whose Day Is It, Anyway?

Sara’s Side: Weddings Are About the Couple

Sara’s stance is understandable. Weddings are expensive, emotional, and meticulously planned. Many couples spend months—if not years—curating every detail. The idea of someone “stealing the spotlight” with a surprise proposal feels disrespectful.

There’s also etiquette. Traditionally, proposals are meant to be private or personalized. Doing it at someone else’s wedding risks overshadowing the bride and groom—and potentially creating unnecessary drama.

Rachel’s Side: Love Is Meant to Be Shared

On the flip side, Rachel may have genuinely thought she was honoring Sara. Perhaps she assumed Sara would be touched by the idea of two love stories blossoming in one magical night.

To Rachel, it wasn’t about stealing thunder. It was about celebrating love—period.

But good intentions don’t always excuse poor timing.

What Does Reddit Think?

Unsurprisingly, the AITAH community had strong opinions.

“You’re NTA,” one top-voted comment said. “This is Wedding Etiquette 101: Do NOT propose or announce major news at someone else’s event.”

Others pointed out that even asking to propose at someone else’s wedding is inappropriate. “If someone asks you to be part of their wedding, they’re asking you to support them, not use the moment for your own plans,” another commenter added.

However, a few users said Sara could have handled it more delicately. “A softer no might have helped,” one person suggested. “Maybe offer to host a post-wedding engagement dinner?”

The Bigger Picture: Boundaries, Friendship, and Expectations

This story isn’t just about a wedding proposal. It’s about boundaries in friendships.

When two people have been friends for years, there’s often an assumption that favors will always be granted. But every relationship—even the closest ones—has limits. And when those limits aren’t respected, resentment brews.

This situation also exposes a deeper divide: what we expect from others vs. what they’re willing to give.

What Could Have Been Done Differently?

For Sara:

• Her boundary was completely fair. But maybe softening her tone or offering an alternative (“Why not do it the next day at brunch?”) could have preserved the peace.

For Rachel:

• She should have understood that asking to propose at a wedding—even as a maid of honor—is asking for a lot.

• If she really valued the friendship, she wouldn’t have made it conditional on getting her way.

The Verdict: Not the Villain

Sara set a reasonable boundary about a once-in-a-lifetime event. Rachel’s proposal plan could have taken attention, emotion, and joy away from the couple—and that’s not okay.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting your own magical moment. But it should be your moment—not someone else’s.

In this case? Sara is not the villain. She’s someone who stood up for herself—and for her wedding.