AITAH For Refusing To Share My Inheritance With Cousins

I never thought receiving an inheritance would turn me into the villain of my extended family. When my grandparents passed away last year, they left me their house and a modest savings account. Now my cousins are demanding I split it with them, calling me selfish for following the will as written. Am I really the asshole here?

The Inheritance Surprise

My grandparents were always closer to me than my cousins. I visited weekly, helped with home repairs, and took them to doctor appointments during their final years. My cousins? They showed up maybe twice a year for holidays. When the will was read, I was shocked to learn they’d left me nearly everything – the family home worth about $300k and $50k in savings.

The cousins got $5k each – basically token amounts acknowledging they were family. The lawyer explained my grandparents wanted to reward the “meaningful relationship” we had. At first I felt guilty, but then I remembered all those Sundays I gave up to spend time with them while my cousins were living their lives.

The Family Backlash

Within hours of the reading, my phone blew up. Cousins I hadn’t heard from in years were suddenly very interested in “family fairness.” The arguments came fast:

“We’re blood too!” – From Mark, who never returned their calls.

“Grandma would want us to share!” – From Sarah, who missed Grandma’s funeral for a vacation.

The worst was my aunt demanding I “do the right thing” because her kids “deserve” part of the house. Never mind that she hasn’t spoken to me since I was twelve.

My Stance on Fairness

Here’s the thing – I earned this inheritance through time and care, not just genetics. For five years, I was the one who:

• Drove Grandma to chemo when she was too proud to ask
• Fixed Grandpa’s leaky roof instead of hiring someone
• Spent holidays with them after the rest of the family stopped coming

My cousins claim it’s “not fair,” but what’s truly unfair is expecting equal rewards for unequal effort. The will reflects the actual relationships, not some fantasy version where we were all equally present.

The Emotional Toll

What hurts most isn’t the greed – it’s the rewriting of history. Suddenly, everyone has “precious memories” with our grandparents that conveniently never came up while they were alive. The guilt trips are constant:

“They were old and confused when they wrote that.”

“You’re tearing the family apart over money.”

As if I’m the one causing drama by not handing over what was legally and ethically left to me. I’ve started screening calls because every conversation turns into a negotiation.

Legal Reality Check

After the third vague threat about “looking into” the will, I consulted a lawyer. Turns out:

• The will was updated just 18 months ago with full mental competency documentation
• My grandparents specifically discussed excluding most cousins in their notes
• Their estate planning was airtight – no chance of successful contesting

Knowing the law is on my side helps, but it doesn’t make family gatherings any less awkward. My uncle actually suggested I should “voluntarily” redistribute things to “keep the peace.”

Moving Forward Alone

I’ve made my decision – I’m keeping the inheritance as intended. The house is now my home, and the savings are going toward my future. To those calling me selfish:

Where was your concern for fairness when I was changing Grandma’s bedpan?

Why wasn’t family important when Grandpa asked for help moving furniture?

I won’t disrespect my grandparents’ wishes to appease people who couldn’t be bothered to show up when it mattered.

Your Judgment Matters

So tell me honestly – am I the asshole for refusing to share? Should inheritance always be divided equally regardless of relationships? Or is it right to honor the wishes of those who worked hard for what they left behind?

Share your thoughts in the comments below. Have you faced similar family drama over wills or inheritances? How did you handle it? Your experiences might help others navigating these painful situations.