AITAH for Refusing to Share My Newly Bought Car with My Roommate?

Getting a new car is exciting — but what happens when your roommate expects to use it whenever they want? That’s exactly the dilemma one Reddit user faced and shared in a recent AITAH post. The question: Am I the jerk for saying no when my roommate asked to borrow my brand-new car without asking?

This post explores boundaries, respect for personal property, and how living with roommates can blur the lines of ownership and trust.

The Situation: New Car, Old Roommate Problems

The Original Poster (OP) had just bought a new car after saving for years. It was their first major purchase and a symbol of independence and hard work. OP lives with a roommate who has been known to borrow things without permission, like clothes or kitchen items.

One day, OP’s roommate casually asked to borrow the car to run errands, assuming OP would say yes. When OP declined, the roommate accused them of being “selfish” and “not being a good friend.”

OP is now unsure if they handled the situation right and asked the Reddit community: Am I the jerk for refusing to share my new car with my roommate?

Respecting Personal Property in Shared Living Spaces

Ownership Matters

Whether it’s a car, laptop, or even a favorite sweater, personal belongings have ownership that deserves respect. Just because you share a living space doesn’t mean ownership becomes communal.

OP’s car is not a communal item. It’s their personal property, bought with their own money, and used to meet their needs.

Roommates ≠ Family

Sometimes, the assumption is that roommates are like family and therefore everything is shared. But healthy roommate relationships have boundaries that protect individual rights.

Lending expensive or essential possessions without explicit permission can lead to conflict and mistrust.

The Emotional Side: Is Saying No Being Selfish?

Self-Care Includes Protecting Your Belongings

OP’s decision to say no wasn’t selfish—it was reasonable. Protecting what you worked hard for is part of self-care. Owning a car comes with responsibilities like insurance, maintenance, and personal schedules. Allowing others unrestricted use can complicate that.

When “Sharing” Feels Like Entitlement

The roommate’s reaction—calling OP selfish—shifts responsibility away from respecting boundaries and onto guilt-tripping. This tactic is common but unfair.

Healthy communication means understanding when a “no” is necessary and not personal.

What Reddit Said: Clear Boundaries Win

The AITAH community was overwhelmingly on OP’s side:

“You are not a jerk for protecting your investment.”

“If they want a car, they should buy their own. Roommates don’t mean you lose ownership rights.”

“Good boundaries now prevent resentment later.”

Tips for Navigating Personal Property with Roommates

• Set clear rules early about borrowing items and ask for explicit permission.

• Communicate openly about your comfort levels and respect theirs.

• Compromise where possible but never at the expense of your values or possessions.

• Remember that saying no is okay and doesn’t make you a bad roommate or friend.

Final Thoughts: Protect Your Space and Peace of Mind

Living with roommates means sharing spaces and sometimes things—but it doesn’t mean giving up your personal property or peace of mind.

OP did the right thing by standing firm and protecting their belongings. Healthy boundaries are key to respectful, lasting roommate relationships.