AITAH for Asking My Roommate to Contribute More to Our Shared Chores?
Introduction: Living Together, Dividing the Work
Living with a roommate can be both fun and challenging. Splitting rent is great, but what about the household chores? Recently, I (OP) found myself in a sticky situation that made me wonder—Am I the Asshole (AITAH) for asking my roommate to pitch in more with our shared chores?
The Situation: A Growing Frustration
When we first moved in together, my roommate and I casually agreed that we’d “just clean as we go.” Sounds simple enough, right? But over time, it became clear that “clean as we go” actually meant me doing most of the cleaning. I was wiping down counters, vacuuming, and taking out the trash while my roommate lounged around binge-watching TV shows.
After a few months of pent-up frustration, I decided it was time to talk. I asked my roommate if we could create a simple chore schedule. Nothing crazy—just a fair division of tasks so I wasn’t the default housekeeper.
The Blow-Up: Roommate Drama Ensues
To my surprise, my roommate got defensive. They said I was “overreacting” and that “we’re both adults, we shouldn’t need a schedule.” They even suggested that I must “enjoy cleaning” if I’m doing it so often.
I tried to explain that it wasn’t about enjoying cleaning—it was about fairness. But the conversation ended with my roommate sulking and me wondering if I had made things worse by bringing it up at all.
Community Reactions: What Others Had to Say
Here are some insightful comments from people who weighed in on my situation:
1. Supporters:
“NTA (Not the Asshole). It’s basic courtesy to share household responsibilities. Your roommate needs to grow up.”
“Schedules might feel childish, but they work. Your roommate just doesn’t want accountability.”
2. Critics:
“ESH (Everyone Sucks Here). Communication is key, but maybe your approach was too aggressive.”
“If you want a perfectly clean house, that’s on you. Maybe your standards are too high.”
3. Creative Solutions:
“Try a chore wheel—it makes things fun and less confrontational.”
“Have a monthly roommate meeting to discuss expectations. It sounds lame but helps a lot.”
Conclusion: Finding Middle Ground
In the end, I realized that while I wasn’t wrong to ask for help, the way I approached the conversation could have been better. We eventually agreed to a loose chore rotation, and things have improved (mostly).
So, was I the asshole? I’ll let you decide. But one thing’s for sure—living with roommates is all about communication and compromise.
