My Husband Prioritizes His Friends Over Me – Am I Wrong for Feeling Neglected?
Lately, I’ve noticed that my husband prioritizes his friends over spending time with me. Every time we make plans, he either cancels last minute or cuts our time short to hang out with his friends instead. I feel neglected, but he thinks I’m making a big deal out of nothing.
Background Information
We’ve been married for four years, and while I’ve always known he was social, it never felt like a problem before. In the past, he made time for me while also seeing his friends. But over the last year, it’s like I’ve fallen to the bottom of his priority list. If his friends call, he drops everything for them, even if we had plans first.
The Main Conflict
Last weekend, we had a dinner reservation to celebrate my promotion at work. I was so excited, but just an hour before we were supposed to leave, his friend called, asking him to go out for drinks. My husband immediately told me, “We can do dinner another night. This is important.”
I was shocked. How could a random night of drinks with his friends be more important than celebrating my achievement? When I confronted him, he rolled his eyes and said, “You’re overreacting. We can celebrate anytime.”
The Aftermath
I ended up going out to dinner alone that night. It hurt to realize that my husband didn’t see this as a big deal. When I tried to talk about it later, he brushed it off, saying, “I spend time with you all the time. It’s not like I’m ignoring you.” But that’s exactly how I feel—ignored.
I even reached out to a close friend, who told me she would be furious if her partner did this to her. That made me feel even more justified in my frustration. Still, my husband doesn’t seem to think there’s an issue.
Community Reaction
“If he can’t prioritize you now, what happens when bigger life events come up?”
“You’re not crazy for wanting to feel important in your own marriage.”
“A partner who values you wouldn’t constantly put their friends before you.”
“If he always expects you to be the understanding one, that’s a one-sided relationship.”
“You need to have a serious conversation about boundaries and respect.”
Final Thoughts
At what point does ‘just hanging out with friends’ turn into neglecting your spouse? I don’t want to be controlling, but I also don’t want to feel like I’m competing for my husband’s attention.
Is this something that can be fixed with better communication, or is it a sign of a deeper issue? Has anyone else been through something similar?
Read more stories like this here
