AITAH For Posting My Friend’s Failures On Social Media

I never thought a few social media posts would blow up my friendship. But here we are. Last week, I shared some funny (at least to me) clips of my best friend failing at basic tasks – tripping over a curb, burning toast, missing a basketball shot – and now our entire friend group is divided. Some say it was harmless fun, others claim I violated her trust. So, AITAH?

The Friendship Background

Jessica and I have been ride-or-die since freshman year of college. We’ve always roasted each other mercilessly – it’s our love language. When she face-planted during our 5K charity run last year? I made it my Instagram story immediately and she laughed harder than anyone. When I accidentally dyed my hair neon green? She turned it into a meme template we used for months.

Here’s where things changed: Jessica started dating this super serious lawyer guy three months ago. Suddenly, my “quirky bestie” is all about curating a “flawless” online image. She untagged herself from our old posts and asked me to delete some throwbacks. I thought she was being ridiculous – until I posted that compilation last Tuesday.

The Viral Post

It wasn’t even planned! I was cleaning my camera roll and found gold – seven clips of Jessica’s “fail moments” from the past year. The editing took maybe 20 minutes: added the “Oops I Did It Again” remix, some silly captions, and posted it to TikTok and Instagram with “POV: Your bestie is a walking blooper reel (love you J!)”

The internet loved it. 42K likes overnight. Our mutual friends commented things like “CLASSIC Jessica!” and “Why is this so accurate?” But Jessica? Radio silence. Then came the 2 AM text: “Take it down. Now.” When I asked why, she said her boyfriend’s firm partners follow her and she’s “trying to be taken seriously.”

The Blowup Fight

We met for coffee the next day and it got ugly. She accused me of sabotaging her relationship and career. I shot back that she was being pretentious and abandoning her authentic self for some guy. The worst part? She said our “jokes” were always at her expense and she’d just been pretending to laugh along.

That gutted me. If she’d ever told me those posts bothered her, I would’ve stopped immediately. But now I’m questioning everything – were all our years of banter just her tolerating my bullying? Our friend group is split down the middle, with half saying I crossed a line and the other half saying Jessica changed.

My Side Explained

From my perspective: this was our normal. We’ve posted way worse about each other before. Remember when she made that Tinder parody account using my cringiest dating stories? I thought it was hilarious! The difference now seems to be her new relationship and career aspirations.

I’ll admit the post reached way more people than usual thanks to the algorithm. Maybe I should’ve considered her changing circumstances. But she never communicated this boundary until after the fact. How was I supposed to know our dynamic needed to change?

The Social Media Factor

Here’s what complicates things: context collapse. Our inside jokes that used to stay within friend groups now blast to strangers, coworkers, and yes – stuffy law partners. I genuinely didn’t think about how those clips might look to people who don’t know our history of mutual teasing.

But also… since when do we police our authenticity for corporate approval? Part of me thinks Jessica should own her goofy side instead of performing some “perfect professional” act. Then again, maybe that’s easy for me to say as a graphic designer with no corporate ladder to climb.

Where We Stand Now

I took the posts down immediately after our fight, but the damage is done. Jessica hasn’t spoken to me in eight days – our longest silence ever. Mutual friends say she’s reconsidering our entire friendship, while others think she’s overreacting.

Here’s my dilemma: Do I apologize for unintentionally hurting her, even though I think she’s being hypocritical? Or stand my ground that she should’ve communicated her changing boundaries? I miss my best friend, but I also feel betrayed that she’s rewriting our history.

Was I The AH?

Looking back, I can see how posting those clips without checking with her first was risky – especially knowing she’s been more image-conscious lately. But I also think long-term friendships deserve grace when norms shift. A simple “Hey, I’m trying to keep my profiles more professional now” conversation could’ve prevented this.

So where does that leave us? Maybe I’m 30% AH for not being more considerate, but she’s 20% AH for not communicating her changing needs. The remaining 50%? Just two friends navigating how relationships evolve in the age of social media perfectionism.