AITAH For Telling My Coworker They’re Too Sensitive Around Me

Workplace dynamics can be tricky, and sometimes, what feels like a harmless comment can spiral into something bigger. Recently, I found myself in a situation where I told a coworker they were being “too sensitive” around me—and now I’m wondering if I was the jerk. Here’s what happened, and I’d love your honest opinion.

The Office Tension Builds

For the past few months, I’ve worked closely with a colleague—let’s call them Sam. At first, everything was fine, but over time, I noticed Sam reacting strongly to things I said. A casual joke? They’d look offended. A lighthearted critique? They’d shut down. It felt like I had to walk on eggshells.

Was I being insensitive, or was Sam overreacting? I couldn’t tell, but the tension was affecting our teamwork. Finally, after another awkward exchange, I blurted out, “You’re way too sensitive around me—lighten up!” Sam froze, then quietly walked away. Now, things are even more awkward.

Was I Too Harsh?

In hindsight, maybe I could’ve phrased it better. But here’s the thing—I wasn’t trying to be mean. I genuinely wanted us to work better together, and the constant tension was exhausting. Still, I can’t shake the feeling that I crossed a line.

Some coworkers say I was justified—Sam does take things personally. Others think I was out of line, arguing that sensitivity isn’t a flaw. I’m torn. Maybe there was a better way to address it, but I didn’t know how.

The Backstory Matters

To give context, Sam has mentioned before that they struggle with anxiety. I didn’t think much of it—plenty of people do—but maybe that played a role. On the other hand, should I have to adjust everything I say to avoid upsetting them? Where’s the line between being considerate and stifling my own personality?

I’ve never had this issue with other coworkers. My humor is usually well-received, and I’ve always considered myself pretty self-aware. But with Sam, it’s like I’m constantly missing the mark.

The Aftermath at Work

Since the incident, Sam has barely spoken to me. Our manager noticed and asked what happened. I explained, and they suggested we have a mediated conversation. Great—now HR might get involved. Did I make a small problem worse?

Part of me thinks Sam should toughen up—workplaces aren’t therapy sessions. But another part wonders if I lack empathy. Maybe I’m the problem. Or maybe we’re just a bad personality fit.

Different Perspectives

I asked a few friends outside work, and opinions were split:

Friend A: “You weren’t wrong. If Sam can’t handle normal workplace banter, that’s their issue.”

Friend B: “You could’ve been kinder. Not everyone has the same tolerance for sarcasm.”

Both points make sense. But in the moment, I was frustrated. Now I’m worried I’ve damaged a professional relationship—and maybe my reputation.

What Should I Do?

If I could redo it, I’d probably say something like, “Hey, I’ve noticed some tension between us—can we talk about how to communicate better?” instead of calling them sensitive. Live and learn, I guess.

Moving forward, I’m considering apologizing for my delivery (but not necessarily the sentiment). At the same time, I don’t want to enable an overly fragile dynamic where I can’t be myself. It’s a tough balance.

Your Verdict Matters

So, AITAH here? Should I have handled it differently, or was it fair to call out Sam’s sensitivity? I’m genuinely curious what others think—maybe there’s an angle I’m missing.

Drop your thoughts in the comments! Have you been in a similar situation? How did you handle it? Let’s discuss—workplace communication is something we all navigate, and your insights could help.