AITAH for Not Giving Up My Seat in Business Class to My Boss’s Wife?
It’s one thing to deal with office politics from 9 to 5. But when your personal time, your money, and your dignity get involved—things can get tense. In this AITAH story, we explore what happens when professional hierarchy meets personal boundaries… 35,000 feet in the air.
Let’s dive in.
The Flight Fiasco: One Upgrade, Two Entitled People
Our story comes from a 31-year-old software engineer—let’s call him Ray—who posted on Reddit’s r/AITAH after returning from a company-sponsored tech conference in Singapore.
As a frequent traveler, Ray had accumulated enough airline points to upgrade his 14-hour return flight to business class. It was a well-deserved reward after years of red-eyes, layovers, and cramped economy seating.
But just before boarding, Ray got an unexpected message from HR:
“Your boss’s wife is flying back on the same flight. Can you let her take your seat in business class and switch to economy?”
Ray was stunned. His boss—who wasn’t even on the trip—had used his internal company connections to try and swap his wife into Ray’s upgraded seat.
Ray politely declined.
The Fallout: HR Pressure and Workplace Whispers
Ray explained that the business class upgrade was not paid for by the company—it was a personal redemption using his own frequent flyer miles and upgrade credits.
He had spent years collecting them.
HR pushed back, saying it would “look good” if he showed some “team spirit,” and that it would “mean a lot” to the boss. But Ray stood his ground.
“I wasn’t rude,” Ray wrote. “I just said I’d prefer to keep my seat. I don’t think that makes me unprofessional.”
When he arrived back at work, things were… different. His boss was noticeably cold, and a few coworkers hinted that Ray had made a “bad impression.”
That’s when Ray turned to Reddit and asked:
AITAH for refusing to give up my business class seat to my boss’s wife?
What the Internet Said: Boundaries Matter
Reddit’s AITAH community was nearly unanimous: Ray is NOT the villain.
Top comments praised Ray for standing his ground and called out the power imbalance at play.
“You EARNED that upgrade. Your boss’s wife is not entitled to your comfort,” one commenter wrote.
Others pointed out the absurdity of the situation:
“If your boss wants his wife to fly business class, he should buy her a ticket—not take yours.”
Many also criticized the company for involving HR in something so personal and unrelated to company policy. The general consensus: Just because someone holds power over you at work doesn’t mean they get to control your personal time or rewards.
What’s Really Going On Here?
This isn’t just about a plane seat. This is about workplace entitlement—and the expectation that employees should be endlessly accommodating, even outside working hours.
Power Dynamics in Play
Ray’s refusal didn’t just bruise his boss’s ego—it challenged an unspoken rule: that the boss’s family gets special treatment. By standing firm, Ray upset the status quo.
This situation also sheds light on a workplace culture that blurs the line between professional expectations and personal favors. Once HR gets involved in your private travel choices, it’s safe to say the boundaries have been crossed.
What Should Ray Do Now?
1. Document Everything
Ray did the right thing by communicating via email and staying polite. Keeping a paper trail is essential when dealing with sensitive workplace issues.
2. Follow Up Professionally
Ray might consider requesting a meeting with HR—not to apologize, but to clarify that his decision was personal, respectful, and within his rights.
3. Evaluate the Work Culture
If this kind of expectation is common in his workplace, Ray may want to think about whether this environment aligns with his values long-term.
AITAH Takeaway: No Is a Complete Sentence
Refusing to give up your well-earned upgrade doesn’t make you rude, selfish, or ungrateful. It makes you human.
Ray didn’t insult anyone. He didn’t break any rules. He just said no. And in a world where saying “no” at work can feel risky, that kind of boundary-setting deserves more respect—not retaliation.
