AITAH for Asking My Sister to Pay Rent After She Moved In Without Asking?
Family dynamics can be tricky, especially when money and personal boundaries are involved. Recently, I found myself in a situation where my younger sister unexpectedly moved into my apartment without discussing it first. After a month of her staying rent-free, I asked her to contribute to the bills. Now, she’s calling me selfish, and our parents are taking her side. So, AITAH for expecting her to pay rent?
Sister’s Surprise Arrival
It all started when my sister, Jess, showed up at my apartment unannounced with a suitcase in hand. She had just broken up with her boyfriend and claimed she had nowhere else to go. I was caught off guard but didn’t want to turn her away. I assumed she’d stay for a few days while she figured things out. But days turned into weeks, and she made no effort to leave or discuss long-term plans.
The Rent Conversation
After a month, I brought up the topic of rent. My apartment isn’t cheap, and her presence meant higher utility bills and grocery costs. I wasn’t asking for market rate—just a fair share. Jess immediately got upset, saying family shouldn’t charge family. She accused me of being greedy, especially since I have a stable job. I tried explaining that it wasn’t about money but fairness and responsibility.
Family Takes Sides
Jess called our parents, and they sided with her. They said I should be more supportive during her “hard time” and that charging rent was heartless. My mom even offered to pay for Jess’s expenses, which made me feel like the villain. I love my sister, but I also believe in setting boundaries. Was I wrong to expect her to contribute?
Financial Burden Grows
Living in the city isn’t cheap, and my budget was stretched thin with Jess staying indefinitely. She used my groceries, ran up the electricity with late-night TV, and never offered to chip in. I didn’t want to resent her, but I also didn’t sign up to financially support another adult. I started wondering if I was being unreasonable or if my request was justified.
Setting Boundaries
I finally sat Jess down and explained that if she wanted to stay long-term, she needed to contribute. I even offered to help her find a job or a cheaper place. She called me controlling and said I was prioritizing money over family. The guilt-tripping was intense, but I stood my ground. Was I the one crossing a line, or was she taking advantage?
Was I Wrong?
Now, I’m second-guessing myself. Part of me feels guilty for not being more accommodating, but another part believes adults should take responsibility for their living situations. Jess is 24—not a helpless teenager. Should I have let her stay rent-free indefinitely, or was I right to ask for fairness?
What do you think? Have you been in a similar situation with family and finances? Share your thoughts in the comments—I’d love to hear different perspectives on whether I was the AH here.
