AITAH for Not Babysitting My Friend’s Kids on New Year’s Eve?
New Year’s Eve is supposed to be a night of celebration, relaxation, and maybe even a little indulgence. But what happens when a friend asks you to sacrifice your plans to babysit their kids? That’s exactly the dilemma I faced—and now I’m left wondering: Am I the a**hole (AITAH) for saying no?
In this post, I’ll walk you through what happened, why I made my decision, and whether I regret it. By the end, I’d love to hear your take—was I selfish, or was I justified? Let’s dive in.
The Last-Minute Ask
It was December 30th when my friend, Sarah (name changed for privacy), texted me out of the blue: “Hey! Any chance you’re free tomorrow night? Mike and I just got tickets to this amazing NYE party, but our usual sitter canceled. You’d be a lifesaver!”
My stomach dropped. I had plans—nothing extravagant, just a cozy night in with my partner, some champagne, and our favorite movies. But Sarah made it sound like I was her only option. I hesitated before replying, unsure how to say no without sounding like a bad friend.
My Initial Reaction
At first, I felt guilty. Sarah and I have been friends for years, and she’s helped me out in tough spots before. But then I thought: Why is this my problem? She had weeks to arrange a sitter for New Year’s Eve—why wait until the last minute?
I also couldn’t shake the feeling that she assumed I’d say yes because I don’t have kids. Like my time was automatically less valuable. Maybe I was overthinking it, but the more I dwelled, the more annoyed I became.
Setting Boundaries
After some internal debate, I texted back: “Sorry, but I already have plans. Hope you find someone else!” Simple, polite, but firm. Sarah’s response? “Oh… I really thought you’d help. Never mind, I guess.” The guilt came rushing back.
I wondered if I should’ve offered to help for part of the night or suggested alternatives. But then I reminded myself: I’m not obligated to drop everything just because someone else didn’t plan ahead. Still, her disappointed tone made me second-guess myself.
The Aftermath
Sarah ended up missing the party. She posted a vague Instagram story about “friends letting you down when you need them most,” which felt like a direct jab. Mutual friends asked what happened, and when I explained, reactions were mixed. Some said I had every right to say no; others called me selfish for “prioritizing Netflix over a friend’s happiness.”
Now, days later, Sarah’s been distant. Part of me wants to apologize to smooth things over, but another part thinks I shouldn’t have to. Where’s the line between being a good friend and being taken advantage of?
Was I Wrong?
Let’s break it down:
1. Last-Minute Request: Asking someone to babysit on NYE with less than 24 hours’ notice is a big ask, especially when it’s a high-demand night for sitters.
2. Assumptions: Sarah seemed to expect I’d say yes, which feels unfair. My time matters too, whether I’m partying or binging TV.
3. Guilt-Tripping: Passive-aggressive comments afterward aren’t cool. If she was upset, she could’ve talked to me directly.
That said, maybe I could’ve handled it better—offered to help find a replacement sitter or compromised with a shorter timeframe. But does that make me the jerk for not doing so?
Lessons Learned
This whole mess taught me a few things:
1. It’s okay to say no. You don’t have to justify your boundaries, even to friends.
2. Planning matters. If something’s important (like NYE plans), secure childcare early.
3. Communication is key. Next time, I might explain why I can’t help instead of a flat refusal—but only if I want to.
Most importantly, I realized that healthy friendships respect both people’s needs. If Sarah can’t accept my “no” without resentment, that’s a bigger issue.
Your Turn: AITAH?
Now I want to hear from you. Was I wrong to prioritize my NYE plans over helping a friend? Should I have sucked it up and babysat? Or was Sarah out of line for expecting me to drop everything?
Drop your verdict in the comments! And if you’ve been in a similar situation, share how you handled it. Let’s get the conversation going.
P.S. If you enjoyed this post, share it with a friend who’s struggled with setting boundaries. Maybe it’ll help them too!
