AITAH For Telling My Friend They Need Therapy Before My Wedding

Weddings are supposed to be joyful, but sometimes friendships get tested in the process. I never thought I’d be the one to tell my best friend they needed therapy—especially not right before my big day. But here we are. Now I’m left wondering: Was I the asshole?

The Friendship Background

My friend, let’s call her Sarah, and I have been close since college. We’ve been through breakups, job losses, and family drama together. But lately, Sarah’s behavior has been… intense. Every conversation turns into a rant about her ex, her job, or how unfair life is. At first, I listened patiently, but as my wedding planning ramped up, her negativity became overwhelming.

I tried to be supportive, but when she started criticizing my wedding choices—“Why are you spending so much on flowers?” or “Your fiancé’s family is so annoying”—it felt like she was projecting her own unhappiness onto me.

The Breaking Point

Last week, Sarah called me in tears because her ex got engaged. I comforted her, but then she said, “I don’t even know why I’m going to your wedding. It’s just going to remind me of how alone I am.” That’s when I snapped. I told her, “Sarah, I think you need therapy. I can’t be your only emotional support anymore, especially not before my wedding.”

Silence. Then she hung up. She hasn’t spoken to me since.

Was I Too Harsh?

Part of me feels guilty. Maybe I should’ve waited until after the wedding. But another part of me thinks I did the right thing. Sarah’s been struggling for months, and I’ve encouraged her to seek help before—just more gently. This time, I was blunt because I couldn’t handle her emotional dumping while managing my own stress.

Still, was it selfish to prioritize my mental health over hers?

The Reactions So Far

I told my fiancé, and he agrees Sarah needs professional help but thinks my timing was bad. My maid of honor said I wasn’t wrong, but another bridesmaid called me insensitive. Sarah’s sister even texted me, saying, “You’re supposed to be her best friend. How could you say that?”

Now I’m second-guessing everything. Did I just ruin a decade-long friendship?

Why I Said It

I didn’t say it to hurt her. I said it because I care. Sarah’s been stuck in a cycle of negativity for over a year, and I’ve watched her push away other friends because they couldn’t handle it either. I didn’t want to lose her, but I also didn’t want my wedding—or our friendship—to be overshadowed by her unresolved issues.

Therapy isn’t an insult. It’s a tool. And right now, Sarah needs more help than I can give.

What Should I Do Now?

I don’t know if I should apologize or double down. If I backpedal, will she think I didn’t mean it? If I don’t, will she cut me off completely? I want her at my wedding, but not if she’s going to make it about her pain.

Maybe I should’ve framed it differently: “I’m worried about you, and I think talking to someone could help.” But in the moment, frustration took over.

Your Thoughts?

So, Reddit—AITAH? Was I wrong to tell my friend she needs therapy before my wedding? Should I have waited, or was it the right call for both of us? Have you ever been in a similar situation?

Drop a comment below and let me know what you think. And if you’ve had a friendship tested during a big life event, how did you handle it?